why have you changed
now that we are so close to the end?
is it just a symptom? are you scared?
are you just scared, like i am?
we leave this place in a month, two months,
and we leave each other.
not forever, i hope, but you never know,
and is this how you want to leave things?
have you even changed,
or am i just overreacting again?
but i swear you're not that soft person
i used to know, used to love.
i don't know if it's just that you've grown
and left me behind,
but i don't know if grow is the right word
because i don't think i like what you're becoming.
it seems more like
you've shrunk inside yourself.
but maybe this new you is something you've found,
and you like it.
that's not up to me. but you're changing,
and i can't decide whether you're becoming more or less.
but either way, i've already changed,
and i can't go through this again.
once, we grew together, with each other.
but now, now our suns have shifted
and we seem to grow in separate directions.
or perhaps you grow into the shade, these days.
or is that me?
it's these things you make me question
when you enjoy being so cruel.
do i deserve it? have i made you this way?
that's what you say, you blame me
if ever i should ask about your change.
but all i do is retaliate, so who is to blame?
why do i feel so guilty all of a sudden?
i've begun to feel like tissue, and
the ease with which you rip me to shreds scares me.
i didn't think i was so fragile, or you were so brutal.
i didn't think you'd prey on my weaknesses like that.
you made me cry today.
and it's not the first time.
but maybe i deserve it.
maybe the truth is just hard to hear.
so we're at the end, and i don't know
whether i want to leave you
before you leave me,
or before time separates us both.
all i know is i'm cold inside.
i don't want you to be right about me.
but then, i don't want you to be wrong,
because it means you really have changed.
and we are broken.
