Mon Pokemon GO Rants

Real Life Interuptions

I have a toddler who is three years old, in the miniature tyrant stage. Everything is "me, me, me" and "now, now, now!" This is a detrimental situation when trying to play Pokemon GO. He doesn't really know how to use his fingers with dexterity yet, but he loves throwing the Pokeballs. He had an odd way of flicking it and the damn balls always miss. So after I throw a ball and the Pokemon is captured, he says, "We did it!" and relishes in the fact that he was there and should celebrate that him staring helped catch the Pokemon. 

When I try to take a picture of the Pokemon with my toddler, he gets confused. He wanders to my screen, then goes to where I tell him to stand so I can take picture but he can't touch the Pokemon with his hands. This is a confusing situation. Why is there a Pokemon on the screen but not in real life? Where did the Pokemon go? He wonders. Why are they not in the same realm as us? Since I wear glasses (and contacts), I think if Pokemon were real, I'll be the first to get toasted because my glasses would drop and I wouldn't see them coming to get me. "Take this blast and this punch for throwing damn Pokeballs at me!" They would say as they pour their attacks into my screaming face.

There was a birthday party last weekend, so I fed my toddler lots of food and chocolate cake. I know we shouldn't play in the car, but I was bored in the backseat and we were driving really slowly since we were stuck in traffic. So I opened up Pokemon GO and played for a bit. My toddler just wanted to watch. An hour later he said, "I don't feel so good!" and my husband said, "Quick, let's clear the area before he throws up!" We scrambled to grab everything out of the car before disaster hit. It was brown carnage as all the chocolate cake, noodles, water, chips, etc. just spewed out of this tiny body in the backseat of the car. Then there was a loud wailing and tears as he said, "This is yucky! Everywhere!" A lesson was learned - no Pokemon GO in the car with the toddler.

The next day my mom came to visit and we went on a walk. I asked her to push the stroller so I could play Pokemon GO. She was very upset about this and ranted about how I should be taking care of the baby. I replied that she is there to help me and I really need to catch this Magikarp because I want to get the mighty Gyarados, an epic water dragon later. She told me I was stupid and too old to play such games, that I should be concentrating on making more money. I remember when I was little, my parents were off making money for many hours during the week and barely saw them when I was little. Sometimes I wish they spent more time with me instead, but money is really important when you don't have any.

I wanted to point out that we all become children again anyways. My 102 year old grandma declined quite a bit recently and she is now in diapers since she can't walk anymore. She is like my toddler at meal times, she refuses to eat vegetables, only wants fried chicken and goes on about how no one cares about her although someone visits her everyday. Life is madness and Pokemon GO gives my brain a break from reality!

There was a shadow of a Pikachu a few blocks away as I was going to work today, so I thought I would double back for a few minutes to catch him. By the time I crossed the street, Pikachu had run off. Pokemon GO is making it hard to concentrate at work. This is a problem. I try to keep my phone off as much as I can during work. But I am weak and sometimes when no one is looking into my office cubicle I peek at my phone to see if there is any Pokemon nearby. Someone caught me the other day and started making fun of me, but I just stuck my tongue out at them!