Don't Fear The Reaper

{xxii. all hallows' eve}

❝If I was ever a rare fine summer person, that's long ago. Most of us are half-and-half. The August noon in us works to stave off the November chills. We survive by what little Fourth of July wits we've stashed away. But there are times when we're all autumn people.❞

-Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury

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Halloween has never been one of my favorite holidays.

I mean, yes, I loved to dress up and run around the town with my friends, begging strangers for free candy and being veritable little terrors. And then we got older, and when we ditched the tricks and treats for parties and horror movies and late nights, it only got better. But as fun as it always was, it was only that way because of who I was spending it with.

Macy, of course the holiday enthusiast of the group, would start us all on a healthy dose of Halloween movies as we'd plan out our costumes at least a few months in advance. Veronica would always look fabulous, and Will and I would match each other. Despite his girlfriend, Trevor would never be able to decide on a costume until like 2 days beforehand, but it'd always work out to be fun in the end. Especially as we became teenagers and started to get invited to class clown Meatball's older brother's annual party the Saturday before the 31st.

Although the senior guys always brought beer and vodka, the party was never that wild of a rager. Unlike whatever party Veronica went to on the night of the crash, nobody destroyed property or made too loud of a racket that the neighbors would call the cops. It was always just a warm get-together, buzzing with gossip and tacky costumes and excitement for the real reason we all always came: to see history made.

That is to say... there was always a thing that happened at the Ballingers' party, something that kept people coming back, from a violent fight to a dramatic confrontation to a revelation of something that would shock the entire student body. Once, the captain of the basketball team got so drunk that he stood on a table and confessed he had seduced and slept with every single basketball cheerleader in order to win a bet. You can imagine the cheerleaders' righteous fury.

That... that was a rough year.

Still, we always got through it. Will, Veronica, Trevor, Macy, and I may have been popular in our grade, but only a select few of underclassmen were invited, so our goal for the first couple years was always to blend in, elsewise get into problems ourselves. We'd stay wallflowers, absorbing everything that happened in order to keep up-to-date with all the latest drama, and somehow we'd make the seemingly miserable parties not so miserable.

It's so weird how a group of friends can make anything tolerable. Laughter really is the most powerful medicine.

So it fucking sucks when you lose the thing that made you laugh the most.

This year, I'm invited to Meatball's party again. I'm not surprised, because the majority of upperclassmen are just automatically invited, aside from most of the more academic crowd, who probably wouldn't want to go anyway. I don't want to go either, because as tempting as the invitation is, there's no point without my "squad". Who do I wince with over the terrible mistakes my classmates make? Who do I spend the night with, ready for Monday, when the entire school will be exploding with drama?

Things between Veronica and I aren't comfortable enough for me to just call her up so we can have our usual pre-party hangout. As much as I love her - and as much as I can tell she does care about me, too - Macy is unpredictable. Trevor might not even come, considering how much he's been focusing more and more on his safety and health. And the most important of them all... he's been gone since May.