Renesmee's Cullen diary- chapter 5

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Capter 5: I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.

I wake up in the morning, and ran to the bathroom. I felt such a weakness and nausea. I felt on my knees and threw up everything in my stomach. By seconds my mom an dad were next to me. Dad held my hair from my face. I land with my head over the toilet. "Nessie honey, how do you feel?" I nodded my head. "I'm fine mom, really". I tried to get up and felt dizzy. My dad caught me before I felt. "You aren't going to school like that. I'll tell Carlisle to come". He said and he was gone in a second. My mom helped me to get to my bed. I was cold so I covered myself with a blanket. My mom pressed her hand on my forehead. "You have fever honey. I guess you get a cold." Who can I have fever? It's so cold that I can help at. My dad and Carlisle came in to my room. Carlisle checked me for like 15 minutes. "She gat a cold that's it." He said looking at me with his nice smile. "You need to take this medicine twice a day and you need to rest for couple days." He said and hand me the medicine. I can't rest for couple days! I need to go to the movie tonight with Jacob. It's suppose to be our first official date. "Nessie you can go with Jake to the movie some other time" My dad suddenly said. I hate when he read my mind. I gave him a furies look and covered my face with the blanket. "I want to sleep". I said with a serious voice. "Ok honey, go to sleep". My mom said and they were out of the room. I start crying and I didn't know why. I mean, ok, I can't go today with Jake to the movies, that's socks, but I can go in couple of days. I don't need to cry because of it. When I calm down a little bit I remembered that Jake is waiting to me worry at school. I took my cell and called him. "Nessie where are you?! I was so worry that you wasn't at school! What happened?!" He said and I felt so guilty because I didn't call him. "Jake relax I'm at home, I'm sick" I heard his voice suddenly change from worry voice to disappointed voice. I guess that he realized that we can't go for our first date today. "Ho, ok, I be at your house in a minute" I want him to come but he missed school a lot lately. "Jake no, stay at school, you missed school a lot lately." He groaned. "Nessie, you know I don't give a shit about this school, You the only one I care about." His words put a smile on my face. I knew he won't listen to me anyway so I agreed and hang up the phone. After like 20 minutes Jake arrived. He looked at me in shock. "Nessie you look terrible" he said and I laughed. "Yah Jacob, every girl wish is that her boyfriend tell her how terrible she look. Thank you." He laughed too. "Oh, you know what I meant and you the most beautiful girl I ever met." I put my hands around his neck and kissed him. Suddenly a great idea went through my mind. "Jacob I'm cold, can you warm me?" I said with a smile on my face. He smile back and lay next to me under the blanket. He put his hands around my stomach and clenched me into him. I turned around and kissed him. The kiss started slaw but then she got deepened. It was an intense kiss. My hands nodded in his hair getting him closer to me. Then he back off. I looked at him confused. "Nessie after all you sick". I knew that it didn't because I was sick, it's because he didn't want to get carried away. He hugged me and then I fell asleep. When I woke up Jacob wasn't there. I walked down stairs and saw Jake and my mom sitting next to the table in the kitchen and talking, I listened to what they said. "Bella please talk to him, you know that I left only this year to be with her and I can't wait anymore, I will pull my hair out if she pressures me again." He said a little angry, I guess he was angry about my dad. "Jacob I'll try to talk with him but I don't know if it could help. You know Edward and his rules, even I couldn't convince to do this before marriage." Ugh, I didn't want to hear that. "But Bella you were about to marry, I can't marry her. Please promise me you'll try." My mom sighed. "I'm promise". I saw that the conversation is over so I went toward them. I set on Jacob's knees and give him a smile. "You feel better honey?" my mom asked. "I feel really good actually, maybe we can go to the movie theater." I said, trying to convince them that I'm totally healthy. "Nessie you sick, and we have all the time in the world for going to our first date." He said with a smile on his face. I wanted to kiss him so bad, but my mom was there. "I leave you two alone." My mom said and left the kitchen. She knows me so well, and she knows when she unwanted. I turned around so I could look Jake in the eyes. "I heard what you and my mom were talking about." He looked down, as if he was embarrassed for what he wants. It's a natural thing, he shouldn't be ashamed. "Oh, you heard that." I grabbed his face and waited until he looked me in the eyes. "Jake its ok. You are ready, I'm ready, and it's not a bad thing." He looked down again. "Nessie its feeling kind of bad because you are 8 years old for gad sacks, I mean I know you actually 16 but..Still. "I hate it being like that, as if he was a pedophile who goes out with young girls and sexually abused them. "You know that it's not like that with us. I know you the love of my life and I have only one year to stay with you." When I said it, that I left only one year to be with him, I started crying. "Don't cry baby, it will be fine." He said to me and hugged me tightly. Suddenly his phone rang and he started looking shocked. He hanged up the phone and still looked that way. He stared at me and didn't say a word. "Jake what's wrong?! What happened?!" He looked like someone was dead. "It's my father, he... very sick and Carlisle said that the closest place that someone can take care of him is back in Forks." What did he mean at Forks?! Why couldn't he take of him here?! "That's means that I have to leave with him to Forks." The tears began to fall on my face. "You can't leave me Jacob! we don't left much long together! I can't live without you!" I yelled and in panic, I couldn't deal with it. I ran to my room, leaving Jacob in the kitchen. I cried and cried for an half hour until my mom came in. She set next to me on the bed. "Me and your father talked and we know what you feeling right now. We had decided that you can leave with grandpa Charlie and go to school at Forks until Jake's father will be healthy or if it took too long so until next year that you will be turn." I couldn't believe that my dad agreed to this. "Really mom?! But what about you, I wouldn't see you for a year?!" Why all the shit happened to me?! "You'll come visit, 'cause we can't come with you, it's where I grew up. People will notice that something is wrong." I know I didn't have a choice but it really hard to live far for my family for this long. "And I talked with your father about other thing." She looked at me serious. "What else happened?" I said, not understanding what she meant. "You heard the conversation I had with Jacob in the kitchen. I talked to your dad and he said that Jake doesn't need to work for earning his trust any more. He trusts you and him to have the right decisions. He lets you do what you want to do." What?! I couldn't believe it's actually happening! My dad let me go! My mom noticed that I was too happy. "Nessie you know that you can ask me anything. Your first time should be perfect. You need to be absolutely sure that you are ready and you need to be careful." I know I'm ready, Jacob is the only one I will ever love. "Mom I have only one thing to ask you." I said and my mom smiled to me, she was excited for me and excited that she could help. "Yes honey." She said and put her hand on my shoulder. "I can't do this knowing that maybe dad will read my thoughts. Can you shield my thoughts?" She giggled. "Yes baby, of course I can." She kiss me on the forehead and went down stairs. After a few seconds Jake was there. I was over excited and just wanted to tell him. "Jake I just talk with my mom and..." He cut me before I could finish my sentence. "I know Nessie your dad talked with me." I was kind of sorry for him that he trough this talk with my dad. "You know that he trusts you and that I'm coming with you to Forks?" I said, confirming that he knew everything. "Yes, I know everything." He said with a satisfied look on his face. "So... When you wanna do 'it'?" I asked in embarrassment. "Don't worry Nessie, we have the all time in the world." He said with the most perfect smile I ever saw. "But I don't want to wait, I waited enough." I said and put my hand around his neck. "First thing be healthy, and then we'll talk." He said and kissed me softly. "Go to bed now, you need to rest." He said and kissed my forehead. "Stay with me tonight." I ask him. He groaned. "Fine." He said with a smile. We both lay down. "I love you" I whispered. "I love you too" He said and I fell asleep with my head in his lap.

My mom calling me for dinner, I tell you everything next time.

Love, Nessie.

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