just a letter to you

44 4 9
                                    

hello

i love you

but you give me pain

and you give me grief

and that's not even your fault

every second with you

is a reminder that one day this beautiful time will end

because i know you'll leave me

like every one before you has and every one after you will

you may call me a pessimist but i'm too scared to hope

every time i text you

and our long conversations end with hearts

i wonder if you'd ever text me first

(you never do)

and every time i share a secret

i wonder why i make myself so vulnerable

to people who leave me

people who hurt me

people who treat me like just a phase in their life that they can easily move on from

and maybe it's not your fault

because for a short, beautiful while, you didn't make me feel like that

but now i'm struck by the reality

of exactly how replaceable i am

i really don't blame you

for not being able to convince me

that i'm loved

and i'll be missed once I go

i blame myself

for thinking so

and i blame the others

who left me so ruthlessly

but again i blame me

for being leave-able

and forgettable

and then i blame fate

for making me so temporary

and maybe then i blame you

for never texting first

and never running after me like i ran after you

i love you, you know

but i can't make you miss me

and that's a tragedy i'm trying to face

20.04.2018
10:55 pm

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