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Keith Powers
Staring into the bathroom mirror, I focused on my dark red eyes. It's been a week since I've left April and I haven't slept and I'm barely eating. My life feel like is going down the drain day by day. I'm ready for all this nonsense to be over. I'm a few seconds from a mental break down.
Bottling your emotions is the worst thing to do. I've been trying my best to keep myself sane for the past 2 months and at first I thought I was doing good but day by day, I realized that I'm not. I'm slowly cracking. I'm a sleeping volcano that's about to erupt. I'm hurt but I masked my pain so that I don't constantly have to hear someone ask if I'm okay. My sons died, you should know that the last thing I am, is okay.
Last week made things even worse. She really threw her ring at me. I made her promise that no matter how hard shit gets that she'll never take that off. I know this situation is something new for us, emotions are different, I just never think this would cause her to say that she hates me or take her ring off.
I've been more focused on Kiara because I thought April would want more time to herself. And I just don't know what to say to help her get through all of this. I wanna be there for my wife, I really do but what do I do? What can I say to keep her comfortable and ease her aching heart? I really need somebody to give me the answers.
I can look in her eyes and see how hurt she is, my wife is broken. April's eyes used to sparkle like diamonds, her smile was always big and wide. Now you'll be lucky if you see her smile. When she does I know it isn't real. She's putting on a facade. She's just like me, she doesn't want the "Are you Okay?" question asked to her a billion times. No she's not okay, WE'RE NOT OKAY!
A knock on the bathroom door broke me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah?" I answered.
"Breakfast is ready." My mom replied. "Kiara is already downstairs."
"Okay, I'll be down in a second."
"Okay."
I looked at myself again before splashing water in my face then heading out to go downstairs. When I walked into the dining room, I kissed my moms cheek then Kiara's then took my seat. "Thank you Ma."
"No problem honey. How are you this morning?"
"I'm good." I kept my head down so that she wouldn't see my eyes. "How are you?"
"I'm okay, just wondering when my son is going to tell me exactly what's going on? You and Kiara showed up at my house at the crack of dawn last week and you want me to believe that everything is okay."
"Yeah."
"Well you should know by now that I'm not going to just let this go. What's going on between you and April?"
I looked at my mom, letting her see how her son is holding on be a thread.
"Keith look at your eyes! When was the last time you slept?" She asked.
