"All you have to do is walk in there and kiss him!" Cass offered a solution. A bad one at that.

"Without an explanation first? He'll think I'm a bigger whore." I said rolling my eyes at them.

I was currently siting in El's room with her, Cass, and Lou. They were all attempting to come up with scenarios as to how to 'win Niall back', as they put it. But the scenarios all sounded like ending to Nicolas Sparks books. Lou even suggesting 'The Notebook sex scene'. He seriously needs to get out more. ASAP.

"Zoella Imogene Ramirez!" Cassie yelled causing me to jump. "You do not call yourself a whore." She then smacked my arm.

"Cassandra...I don't know your middle name Anderson. Do not slap me." I said returning the smack. She laughed before hugging me.

"Two questions." Louis said placing a finger in the air. "One: Your first name is Zoella? And two: How many ethnicities are in your whole name?!" Louis questions.

"Her mom is very, how do I put this? Her mom is very creative." Cassie says nicely. My mom was a weirdo is what she meant.

"I can tell. So can I call you Zoella?" He smiles at me wiggling his eye browns.

"Yeah, if you want to become the woman of yours and El's relationship." I smile back at him.

"I'll keep my balls, thank you." He scoots away from me. I couldn't help but laugh.

"So, why don't you just go to the room? Knock on the door and ask if you can talk?" We all turn and stare at Eleanor.

"I wish you would have told me that before Cassie and Louis started re-writing the end to The Notebook." I said. Seriously, a room full of four people and it took us an hour to come up with that.

"Because that would be boring." Lou says to his girlfriend.

"And you're boring." She replies back.

"No you're boring."

"No you."

"Okay, okay, both of you are boring now get a room." I laugh.

"Well we have one but your sort of in here." Lou states the obvious.

"Whatever, I'm going to talk to Niall. I'll be back."I say getting up and walking out the door.

I was standing outside his door. Our door. Our hotel room door. I had been standing outside the god awful brown piece of wood for what seems like hours. Every time I would reach for the door handle I would pull away. I was scared. I was beyond terrified.

"Just walk in there." I tell myself.

"What could go wrong? He tells you to leave, big deal, you never listen to anyone anyway."

"Stoping being an idiot Zoey, you don't get scared." I continue my monologue.

"Put your big girl panties on and just go in there." I go toward the door before tuning back around continuing my pacing.

I finally understood why all those girls at school would cry every time they broke up with their boyfriends. I use to make fun of them saying that they didn't know what real pain is. But they do, the thought of losing your person is so painful. It's like your heart has fallen to the pit of your stomach. You can't move, you can't breathe. I thought catching Jon was heartbreaking. This was excruciating. Niall was my person, I didn't want to lose him but I felt my words had already done a lot of damage.

"Zoey?" An unfamiliar voice asks. I turn to find myself staring in the eyes of Zayn.

"How much of this did you see?" I ask embarrassed.

"Nothing if that's what you want me to say." He smiles at me and I laugh at him.

"That's embarrassing." I say running my hand through my hair.

"Nah, it's normal."

"Talking to yourself is normal?" I question.

"Just walk in there. Don't over analyze it." He states ignoring my question.

"You know?"

"No but you're nervous to go in there for some reason. If you over analyze stuff it messes with your head. Just do it. Don't think about it." He says pushing off the wall and starts to walk away. "And, by the way, normal is boring. That's why Niall and Harry are crazy about you."

"Zayn!" I yell down the hall.

"Yeah?" He turns for a minutes.

"Thanks." I smile at him.

"No problem." He turns and continues walking away.

I continued pacing for a few more minutes before I walked up to the door again. I placed a hand on the door handle getting ready to walk in.

"Zoey?" I heard someone question behind me. That voice. It was the voice I've grown attached to over the past few days. I was terrified to turn around but it was inevitable.

"Niall." I breathed. "You're not in there?"

"Obviously." He managed a smile.

"Well, then I've been standing here for the last 20 minutes for no reason." I say embarrassed. I had been scared to walk in there for no reason. I run my hand through my hair shaking it.

"Is there something you wanted?" He asks opening the door.

"No." I lie.

"Well, then goodnight." He shut the door only to have me barge into the room soon after.

"I mean yes." I hear the door shut behind me. "And this is my room too. You can't just lock me out."

"Yes I can." He says jumping into the bed.

"Okay, You can stop being a jerk now." I say annoyed even though I had no right to be but he was being a jerk to me.

"No offense but I kind of have the right to be a jerk right now." He says facing the wall. I hated this, I miss those blue eyes.

"Just because you say no offense doesn't make it any less offensive." I say getting angrier. "God, look at me me! I can't take this!"

He jumps out of the bed. His eyes look like he had been crying. It breaks my heart that he had been crying over me. I didn't deserve him, he deserves to have someone way better than me.

"YOU CANT TAKE THIS?" He yells. I jump back not expecting it. "How do you think I feel?! God, Zoey," he rubs the back of his neck. "do you think I can take this? I told you I loved you and then you say you love Harry, who by the way is my best friend. Did you not find it necessary to tell me before we had sex?!"

"I'm sorry." I mutter, unsure I what to say.

"Oh, you're sorry." He says running his hand through his hair. "That doesn't change what you did."

I wanted to tell him so bad that I didn't mean it. I didn't mean what I had said. I didn't mean anything. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I wanted to run into his arms and kiss him and make the pain go away...

But I didn't. I didn't do any of these things. I chose to walk away. I wasn't an idiot, I knew that Cassie was going to scream at me. But I did this for him. He deserved way better than me. He deserved someone who would fit his life style, someone who his fans will love. Someone who's going to be good for him. I wasn't any if these things.

We stood there staring at each other in silence. Neither of us knew what to do. It was me who ended up moving first.

I took a step towards him. "I'm really sorry Leprechaun." I take one more step forward kissing him gently. "I'm going to go now."

I keep myself together long enough to get out the door and into Eleanor's room. As the door shuts behind me I lean up against it automatically breaking down.

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