izumi had known about jeongin, but the two had never crossed paths once when jisung was alive. they were in different grades, so there was never an opportunity to begin with, plus him and jisung were always up in their room, so they never had really gotten to know each other before.
when she had seen him again during the showcase; after the accident, she knew she had to invite him into their group. she enjoyed watching him dance, and he was a lot like jisung to her. sometimes she felt bad, as if she were simply using jeongin for her broken heart. she also felt bad for jisung who she wished she was closer to. the two siblings got along, but they never hung out as much as izumi wished they had.
after izumi and jeongin became friends, jeongin became precious to izumi . he became her little brother that she didn't want to lose this time, that was why she always took such good care of jeongin.
"it's okay." she reassured, tracing circles on his back as he cried his heart out. she remembered that she was a mess the first time she had visited their graves. she only had herself to blame for that day. izumi released a heavy sigh, her own tears blurring her vision. however, she blinked them away, knowing that she had to be there for jeongin in that moment.
"i can't believe he's actually gone." jeongin cried in between his sobs. the reason as to why jeongin hadn't visited his grave was because he didn't want to accept the fact that his best friend was gone. he wanted to hold onto him for a little longer. he knew it was delusional to hold onto something that was already gone, but it was his way of coping. he had never experienced something like this before.
"it's okay." izumi repeated, holding him tight.
"izumi." her dad placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of her thoughts. she nodded, pulling away from jeongin.
"i'll be back, okay?" she wiped away his tears, giving him a small smile. he sniffled, nodding his head. izumi walked over to the two graves, kneeling on the grass between them. she lights the incense, before joining her hands together and praying for her brother and mother to rest in peace.
-
izumi sighed, stirring her iced mocha with her straw. jeongin also sat silently staring at his drink. the girl lifted her gaze away from her drink and out to the bright spring weather of japan. yes, they had buried her brother and mother in japan. it was her mother's home and jisung had always talked about wanting to visit japan when he was older, but he had never gotten the chance to.
"how did jisung die?" jeongin finally asked the question that had been bugging him since he had met izumi. her eyes focused on the boy across from her once again, their eyes meeting. tears welled up in izumi's eyes immediately at the thought of the day that she had lost half her family.
taking a deep breath, she prepared herself to tell the story she had always dreaded to tell. she was hesitant to begin, but jeongin had a right to know.
"my mother was suicidal back then, before she married my dad she had suffered depression for a long time." izumi began, her voice shaking. "they were in love, my dad treated her as if she was the only person in the world, and my mother, well she seemed like the happiest person alive in my eyes." izumi's gaze fell to her drink as she could feel a lump in her throat.
"to be honest, i still don't know why, but that day they had argued and that had triggered something in my mother. that night, she was crying and throwing things around when she had suddenly stormed out of the house, taking jisung with her. jisung didn't even know what was going on and the both of us were scared. she said she would stay at grandma's house, but-"
izumi stopped, suddenly getting choked up as she thought about it. the memory was still fresh in her mind. when she had arrived at the scene of the crash, when she had seen her brother and mother crushed into the side of the road. it all came back at once. jeongin placed his hand over izumi's in an attempt to comfort her.
"i could've stopped her. i- i could've had them both here with us." izumi stared at her lap, allowing the tears to fall into it as she silently cried. she remember the amount of minutes that were left when they were leaving. she allowed her mother to take jisung when she knew her mother was planning to kill herself. instead she hid in her bedroom like a coward, a guilt she'd have to live with the rest of her life.
"n-noona." jeongin was quick to rush to her side, crouching next to her chair as he hugged her. "don't cry." he cooed, now comforting her this time round. izumi wrapped her arms around his body, her hands clutching onto his jumper.
"i miss them so much."
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for those who've read before i unpublished everything. she doesn't know that her dad knows ;)))
