Virgil's POV
Shall I start from the beginning. I suppose I should. We were meant to be making another video today so I guess you can tell where this is going.
It was 6am. As usual i had been up half the night trying to keep my anxious thoughts from impacting Thomas's sleep therefore ruining my own chances of rest. You can imagine how sour my mood would be after another all nighter.
I could hear Patton making breakfast downstairs but now that the others were up maybe I could get a little rest? I think not. Or at least they have different plans for me.
"Anxiety, breakfast is ready" dad calls and I know that now he expects me I have to go.
I quickly throw on a simple Panic! At the disco hoodie and walk to the kitchen where the others are stood. All but Patton tense at my arrival and I have to resist the urge to return to my room.
"Hey kiddo!" Dad says cheerily.
"You seem dark, Sir doom and gloom," Prince growls "have we found ourselves a new eyeshadow?"
"Why yes actually- I'm so honoured that you cared to notice" I go with It, it will make a good excuse for the bags under my Eyes from my sleepless nights, before adding under my breath "not that you actually notice anything"
The rest of the ordeal passes by quietly with very few comments made. It's what came next that was the problem.
Prince was brainstorming ideas for our next vid when obviously I have to turn up. I manage to stand in the corner for a before having to speak.
"I don't think that's a good idea" both men in the room turn round with looks of despair on their faces.
"Of course you do," Prince snarls "Don't care to tell us why I suppose"
I open my mouth planning to tell him just how dangerous what he was suggesting really was but he interrupts me.
"Stop. I don't want to hear it," he snaps.
"Why ask the teacher a question if you are already answering the question with the wrong answer?" I ask him, he looks confused.
"Why not let me pull through?" I sigh.
"Because your a useless pile of shit that needs a bullet through the head. You do nothing but ruin your hosts life. Quite frankly I want you gone. I wish you would leave. Why don't you go and see if you can pull that one through" he slaps a hand over his mouth and seems about to say something else but I beat him to it.
"Ok Princey" I chuckle darkly, "if I'm really that bad then I'll go. Don't worry about it. Sure thing." With that I leave. I hear Roman come after me but he's to late now.
So hear I am. The door is locked. The curtains are drawn. I write a letter by the last slip of light, thankfully moonlight, that I will ever see.
Dear anyone who happens upon this letter,
Let me tell you that words hurt. And if looks could kill I would have been long gone before now. But they don't so as you probably know if your reading this I had to take matters into my own hands.
I just want to make sure you know a few things:
1. When you slept all soundly in you nice warm beds. I was sat wide awake trying to keep away consuming thoughts. The only way to help Thomas was to let them consume me so guess who had to suffer... I hope your better off with me gone.
2. I keep away when I can. Because when I'm with you. Someone gets hurt so I leave. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I hope your lives are better with me gone.
3. I don't suppose you care but I tried, I tried really hard to look after you all but it looks like I failed. So I hope your safe now that I'm gone.
4. I appreciated you all. Even though you all despised me and made every step of my life harder. I still loved your. You were still family. But I'm sure your family is better with me gone.
5. This one's for you Prince. I loved you. I was an idiot to do so. You made living a hell bound torture. But I loved you all the same. And I still love you now that I'm gone.
But either way this could have gone. I think this is the best. I often though about what would happen if my heart stopped beating. Was never satisfied with what I had. All this time I have wanted death. So do not worry. I have greeted him as a friend. It's best now if you forget that I ever existed. Because this time I pulled it through..
You wanted me gone. Well now I'm gone.
~Virgil
I smile to myself. Tears that until now remained unshed escape my eyes. I walk into the bathroom. Opening the draw slowly, careful not to waste my efforts on noise. I wrap my fingers around the all to familiar hilt. Now my heart shall stop beating.
Romans POV
I follow him all the way to his room. I wait outside his door. I call for him. Tell him I'm sorry. That I never meant any of it. But there's no answer.
After 5 minutes of without a response I begin to panic. I shout his name and pound the door but still nothing stirs. Eventually I decide to force my way in. And I wish I had never seen what I saw.
I'm standing in the bathroom doorway. Screaming for Patton, Logan- anyone just someone who can help. Because there is Anxiety. Laying in the floor of the bathroom with a blade in his chest. I kneel beside him on the tiles.
For once he wears no hoodie. Well we know why. But the blood pours a vibrant red against the porcelain white of his skin. I take his head into my lap and play with his bangs. His eyes are shut, it's as if he were just sleeping, but they will never open again. I will never see those dark brown eyes, or hear that sarcastic tone or see my Anxiety again.
A Prince should never cry. But I am no price anymore. Not now. Not ever again. Letting the tears fall I rip away my sash and discard it. It falls beside the lifeless boys hand and I see a letter clenched in it. Gently I prise away his icy fingers and ease away the letter.
"What does it say?" I hear a husky voice behind me. I turn to look at Logan watching me expectantly and holding a sobbing morality close. Wiping my eyes i begin to read aloud. Stopping to read silently the part dedicated for me. I notice that he told us his name to. His name! But what use is it now? By the time I've finished even Logan is struggling with his emotions and I'm not even trying to fight them anymore.
He loved me. And I did this to him. What kind of person am I? I never even got to say goodbye. But would he have thought we would want to? Is that how badly his thoughts turned when we arrived? What have I done? I lean over to look down at his face. His eyeshadow runs in tracks where tears have fled to smudge the ink I have been reading. I caress his cheek softly, by now all heat has left the body but I still hope for him to wake up and tell me it was all a joke. A cruel one at that but I would take anything to have him back.
"He's not coming back Roman" Logan's voice is thick with held back sorrow.
"I know" I whisper. I lean further towards his face. Is it so bad to wish I could be with him? To join him in his peace? For a second I consider what death would be like but my thoughts can't stay that dark and he doesn't want me to join him does he? I mean he asked us to forget him, that I will never do, but I will carry on, for the others sake.
I don't notice the other 2 leave. There absence means nothing compared to the one of my polar opposite. Delicately I remove the blade from my crushes chest. Last words Roman I tell myself.
Holding the boy who suffered so much closer to myself I whisper:
"I love you to, always"
And if it were possible to smirk in death I swear I saw the corners of his lips turn up.
If you want a happy ending carry on. If not: I appreciate your liking for the darker tale. If you do decide for a lighter heart all goods to.
Alternate ending
Carrying on from the last point.
Can you smirk in death? No. That's not possible. It must just be me. Then again..
"Virgil?" I ask. His eyes open. His eyes Open!! Those beautiful dark gorgeous brown eyes look up at me with a light in them that wasn't there before. He coughs and I pull him into a tight embrace.
"Don't ever.. ever.. leave me again!" I sob.
He looks at me. Eyes full of sorrow and I understand, he feels like he cant keep that promise. But e must. I lean forward and press my lips to his. He doesn't pull away but leans into my touch. I can taste the blood on his lips and I'm so focused on being with him. Being with him alive that I barley here the mumbled:
"Sure thing Princey"
