1996 .... The lows & the highs

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This diary is probably the most depressing I've ever written, even reading it now sends me to tears. Bradley was gone, with no second chances. Elise was around for a bit, but once I quit my job down at the salon three months into the year, she gradually sizzled out of my life too.

It was just me, my mum, my dad, oh and Sarah. My one remaining friend from my school years. Guess what? Yep, you've got it. I later fu*ked that one up too.

I'd drifted apart from just about every other person I used to hang out with. Not in a bad way, just the way life went I guess. I'd had Bradley, I hadn't needed anyone else. Good thing really, I mean look what happened when I did start socialising outside of our relationship.

I'm lucky Sarah still wanted to know me if I'm honest. She'd been my best friend for years and I really did push her aside when I was with him. Jeez, I barely spared any time for her at all. But, the good kind hearted person that she is, as soon as she heard of our split, she was there for me. Shame I didn't pay her back the kindness.

We'd joint this salsa club. Sarah's idea of preventing me from becoming a complete recluse. It was mid July when we started. Up til then I'd barely left my bedroom let alone the house, one of the many reasons I jacked in my job if I'm honest. At least in my room, my random outbursts of tears had no witnesses.

Anyway we'd been going a few weeks when Sarah started dating the guy they'd paired her up with. He was proper hot actually, not really  someone I'd consider to be in her league.

Sarah wasn't ugly, but she wasn't really that attractive either. Kind of run of the mill, girl next door, take or leave type of person. Sounds awful me saying that, I love her to bits. Well I did, no actually I still do. I wish we were still friends, but then I wish a lot of things.

There was one week she couldn't make it, and well, I put myself forward to take her place in this competition they were taking part in. It was the second round. I knew the steps so it felt the right thing to do.

But there was more to it then that and I knew it. I liked him, Marcos, his name was. He had lightly tanned skin, black spiked hair and big chestnut brown eyes. I was however only planning on dancing with him that night.

Why I ever allowed it to come to more, I'll never know. It's true I hadn't had sex for months, so yeah, that could have played a part in my deceit. But damn, it's not like I needed to steal my mates boyfriend, I could of had any one of the guys in the class. I'm hot even now, back then I was stunning and I won't apologise for my ego on that one, because it's true.

I'm what they class as the stereotype big busted, blue eyed blonde. A Barbie doll, if you like. I'm pretty tall for a female at 5ft 10 and I've still to this day, got a pretty impressive figure. Although to be honest, I'd rather have kids and drone on about the saggy tits, stretch marks and extra layers of fat around my midst, like all the mums that come into the beauty parlour I now own.

So getting on with it, this dance. We didn't win, not even nearly. We came second to last as it goes, I obviously wasn't as familiar with the steps as I'd thought. I felt gutted for Sarah, if she'd have been there I reckon they probably would have qualified for the next round at least.

Marcus was so smooth in his moves even if I wasn't and having his body in such close proximity of mine had really stirred up my juices. Man I was so turned on by the time that performance was over. Of course, Marcos was playing it cool, he knew I was mates with his girlfriend and I knew he'd enjoyed grinding up against me as much as I had him. Bless, he was trying so hard to not let it show.

So yeah, it was all my doing. I was the one that lead him to the pub afterwards, I was the one that plonked an entire bottle of wine down in front of him when all he had requested was a half pint of beer and I was the one that convinced him to come back to mine.

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