Chapter 11

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"Okay, what's going on? Is Junior okay?" Mike asks once the girls are out of the room and everyone's seated, including Jenna and Jaime who are helping with the girls after hearing what happened.

"He was shot in the head. The doctor says the bullet just nicked him. They don't know the severity of his injuries or what affect they could have on him, they don't even know if he's going to make it out of this alive." I explain, tears welling in my eyes and a lump building in my throat. "They've, uh, they've put him in a coma because there's swelling on his brain."

There's a lot of silence after that and I notice everyone's eyes filled with tears. He's not just my son, he's everyone's family.

"We're going to be here to support you and Vic through this." Tay says softly. "Are you going to tell the girls?"

"I need to. I just don't know how." I sniff.

"I'll help you. Do you want to go tell them?" she asks and I nod.

"Why don't we go get started on dinner?" Jenna suggests to Jaime, Mike and Tony as she wipes away her tears.

They all agree then consecutively get up.

"I'll go get the girls for you." Mike offers then the room clears.

I turn to Tay, tears still in my eyes.

"I hit him." I whisper to her.

"What?" she frowns. "You hit who?"

"Vic. I hit Vic." I repeat, my lip wobbling.

"Why?" She asks just seeming confused.

"He was saying some horrible things and I don't know what came over me. I'm a horrible person." I choke out.

"What did he say? What horrible things?" she asks.

"He told me what happened was my fault then he insinuated that it was my parenting that fucked Junior up and that I'm going to do the same to the girls." I explain.

"I would have slapped him too!" Tay screeches. "Heck, I still might. How dare he!"

"But I hit him, Tay. He's my husband. I should never have hit him." I whimper.

"Kell," she sighs. "You made a mistake. He sad horrible things so you reacted. It happened. Don't blame yourself, just let it go."

I nod, although, I doubt I can just let this go.

"Are things currently not okay between you two?" she asks me and I nod.

"I hope we can work it out, because I need him, Tay." I tell her.

She holds me until the girls enter the room.

"Is everything okay, dad?" Chrissy asks sounding nervous and scared.

I open my arms for her and she comes and sits on my knee. I hold her close to me, thankful that she's safe.

"Girls, sit down." Tay says.

Ella and Lisa sit on the floor in front of us, looking beyond worried.

"Junior is in hospital." I begin softly.

"What happened? Is he okay?" Ella asks alarmed.

"He's been shot in the head. They've put him in a coma. I don't know if he's going to be okay, if he's going to wake up and if he does, whether he'll be the same." I explain, trying not to cry again.

"How was he shot? Who shot him? I'm so confused." Lisa says distressed.

"A bad man." I tell her, swallowing dryly. "But he's dead now."

"What bad man? Did you know him?" Chrissy asks.

"That's not important. What's important is that we need to be optimistic about Junior's condition and we need to support each other as a family as much as possible right now." I explain.

"But he could die! How are we supposed to be optimistic about that?" Ella yells, tears spilling over her cheeks.

She gets up then runs upstairs, wailing. Tay gets up and follows her daughter.

"Daddy, he's going to be okay, right?" Lisa chokes out.

I want to tell her that he's going to be fine but I can't get her hopes up.

"I don't know. We can only hope, bub." I whisper.

She gets off the floor and sits on my other knee, burying her face into my neck. She starts crying, as if she was six again and she just fell off her bike.

I do my best to comfort my baby girls as much as I can but it's hard when I need comforting too.

"Dad, where's Papa?" Chrissy whispers.

"He's with Junior. Your Papa isn't very open with his emotions and he just kind of shuts down. He's hurting but he'll be okay. Just remember that he loves you both very much." I tell them, trying to comfort myself as well.

It doesn't matter what he said or what I did, he loves me. He always has and he always will.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Lisa sniffs.

Her words make tears fill my eyes.

"Yeah baby, I'll be okay." I whisper.

I won't be. But I can't let her know that. I need to be okay for my children.

--

It's 4am when I hear Vic's car pull up in the driveway. I'm relieved, I was starting to worry.

I hear the engine shut off but it's half an hour before I hear the front door open, leading me to believe that he sat in the car thinking.

I listen to his footsteps. They're really slow and heavy. He must be exhausted. I know I am, but I can't sleep. I did for about an hour before I had a horrible nightmare.

For once, it wasn't about Matty killing me, it was about me killing Matty. My actions terrify me. Never did I think that I'd kill another human being. First I shoot a man to death, then I hit my husband, who am I becoming?

The door opens then closes and Vic gets into bed next to me but he doesn't cuddle me like he usually would. Heck, I don't even think I want him to.

"I'm sorry, for hitting you." I whisper, as I face away from him.

He's silent for a minute, then he clears his throat.

"I'm sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean them, I was upset." he whispers back.

I smile sadly at his apology.

"Why did you leave the hospital?" I ask.

"They kicked me out." he mutters. "Told me to come back during visiting hours."

"I told the girls." I murmur.

"How did they take it?" he asks.

"Lisa's being strong as always, Chrissy's upset but hopeful and Ella isn't taking it well at all. She didn't leave her room all night." I sigh.

Vic doesn't comment on that, instead he rolls onto his side, so his back is facing mine.

He falls asleep quickly whereas I'm left awake, dreading the possibility of my son's death.

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