41) 'Get A Makeover For Your Date' And Other Advice That Works In 80's Chick Flicks, Trashy Love Song Videos, Dubious Skyrim Mods And Generally Everywhere But Real Life
It took the squad quite a while to come up with an idea. Whatever Heston suggested was vetoed by the rest and whatever the rest suggested was quickly deemed 'not good enough'. Benjamin didn't want them to tell him what to do in the first place, but it's not like he had any ideas either, so in short: it was going absolutely great.
In the end it was Thijmen who solved the mystery. Benjamin remembered him saying he liked waffles, so they all decided unanimously that Ben should take him out for waffles. And maybe... the park.
Martin wanted to steal his idea, but then he realized Theo wasn't girly like Thijmen.
One bag of chocolates went to Pi, one to Messiah, one to Heston, one to Martin, and after a moment of contemplation, two to Thijmen. Five for Benjamin, because he was (almost) a grown-up and it was scientifically proven that (almost) grown-ups needed a lot of food.
Messiah proposed a makeover. Martin said it wasn't manly, whereupon a long, droning speech about preconceived notions of gender roles and stereotyping and discrimination ensued, and thus Benjamin received a makeover. To be specific: a dress shirt and a bow tie. He felt like one of those brides in chick flicks. If he said this out loud, though, he'd trigger Messiah.
"Now his hair," said Heston. He took out a pair of scissors.
Benjamin replied, "No."
"It's too fluffy."
"You look like a Wendy's ad."
Martin had even brought a backpack. "I have these things," he began, rummaging through it, "which are like—"
"Not the inflatable muscles," spat Pi.
"Why not? You think Thighman's gonna be impressed by Benjamin's one-pack?"
While this happened, outside Benjamin's room, Thijmen knocked on the door. "Busy!" screeched Messian and Martin at the same time.
Benjamin fled. Literally. He scrambled off the bed, towards the door, opened it with his dress shirt still unbuttoned, hair badly gelled and ran out screaming while the squad stampeded after him, screaming, too. Thijmen still stood next to the door. While first startled, this soon gave place to the usual indifference. "Help!" screamed Benjamin, at the living room, trying to fight them off with a cushion.
As if letting his boyfriend get harassed wasn't bad enough, he dug into the pockets of his jeans and took out a cigarette. "Once you're done playing with your friends, tell me," he replied.
"Thijmen! Please! AHH!"
Moments later, they had him seized, one person per extremity. This had apparently gone from chick flick to 80's horror movie. While they carried the thrashing Benjamin back into his the room, Thijmen went back into his own. Benjamin knew he did this because he found it funny.
That was it.
Once they released him, he said, "Fine. Make me the hottest bitch in this place."
And now it was a chick flick again.
When he looked in the mirror afterwards, he actually looked kind of... decent. Maybe he should style his hair more often. Would Thijmen like it like this?
Martin snorted. "It's like he wants to fuck himself."
Messiah winked away a tear. "He's beautiful."
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None the WorseTeen Fiction
Benjamin has freckles. Thijmen has a knife. Their one thing in common? Having to live under the same roof. Every year, as part of a school program, a "troubled teen" is taken by a wealthy family in hopes to help him reform. This is what brought Thij...