Chapter 9

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I was confused if I had feelings for Yoongi. Was last night just lust or did he really have feelings for me? Thank goodness my dad was gone on a business trip.

My mind was going nuts as I still lay in bed with the enemy. I look at the clock on my nightstand.

6:24 a.m.

I untangled myself from Yoongi, and went into my bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and see bruises on my neck.

Damn, it.

Now I have to hide them from Tae, or he will have my head. I take my clothes off and turn on the hot water. I make sure to lock the bathroom door just in case Yoongi wanted a round two.

I get in the shower and just stand there, letting the hot steaming water fall down my body. My mind starts flooding with thoughts and how stupid I was. How could I have let me take advantage of me like that?

I tilt my head back and let the water burn my skin. My mind was going nuts. My brain told me one thing and my heart told me the complete opposite. I'm just confused on what to choose. Should I trust him? My brain says that he is planning something, but my heart is telling me he wants to be with me. Maybe I should just let it all play out.

I get out of the shower and look at the fogged up mirror. My heart dropped. The mirror had writing on it.

"相信"

"Trust?" I say aloud and I feel a cold going through my warm body.

I put a towel around my body and walk out of the bathroom. Yoongi is still in bed, passed out. I walk over to my closet and get black shorts and a crimson crop top. I let the towel fall off my naked body and grab underwear and a bra. I start getting dressed and I hear a slight mumble.

"Those won't stay on your body very long." Yoongi mumbles into the pillow. I jump slightly at the sudden of sound.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was until you walked out naked." Yoongi yawned and continued, "So how about round two?"

I knew it.

"No, one night was enough. No more, never ever." I say as I finish getting dressed. I start braiding my wet hair.

"That outfit you are wearing is very tempting." Yoongi lays up and gives me a harsh look. He acted as if he owned me in a way.

"Stop staring and it will fix your problem." I said and got my car keys and left. I had no idea where I was driving or what I was going to do. So I kept driving until I made it to a place I basically grew up.

The cemetery.

I get out of my car and start walking up to my mom. I look down at the head stone and take a deep breath. I come to my mother's grave to just talk. I pour my heart and soul out for her, and this was I time I really needed to.

"Hey mom, I miss you. You told me to come to you whenever I needed help. To just speak my feelings and it will all work out. Well, there is this boy at school who wants me to quit drumming so he can take over. Now, he asked me to date me and I didn't have anytime to reply..."

"But the thing is, I actually had fun with him. It was such a fun night but I'm not sure I can trust him. My heart is telling me one thing and my brain tells me the opposite. I don't know who to listen to. I really wish you were here to help. Dad isn't any help, he doesn't know anything about this kind of stuff. You just seem to always help me." I say as the wind plays with my hair. There has got to be a way to figure this out.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I see that Namjoon texted.

"Hey, would you like to grab a cup of coffee?"  I smile and text him back saying I would meet him at J-Hope's in an hour. Maybe life will just play out. Maybe I will figure it out on my own?

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