LOVERS 'liskook'

"quarante-neuf"

CHAPTER FORTY NINE
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we were sat in the kitchen, it still rained quite a bit outside while we were silent. i didn't lift my eyes from the table and could feel the faint heat the steam from the mug filled with coffee yukhei poured for the both of us.

he then let out a sigh and i couldn't tell if it was a conflicted one or a tired one.

"i am engaged to someone." my hands unconciously grip onto the sides of the mug before and they didn't let go of it even if it was burning hot. "i am going to have to marry her as soon as i graduate from university."

my eyes lift from the table to see yukhei looking down with solemn eyes, he carefully took a sip from his mug. "it's not like my family is rich or anything, my parents are close to the boss of the company they work for, the boss' daughter has a thing for me and her father loves to spoil her." he laughs bitterly.

"so you agreed to marry her?"

"well, no. i refused at first. sure, she is pretty, but it's her nature that doesn't attract me to her and how she treats others. my parents owe quite a great amount of money, and with me marrying her, they'd gain the benefit of having money.

i still refused but when they said that I could come and study here, it was basically my once in a lifetime chance.

it's been my dream to come study in south korea, in the end, i gave in to them." i continued to stare at yukhei with pursued lips, a sigh then left me.

in a way, it's too much to take in.

"... so —"

"but lisa, i was serious about what i said in the bedroom." my eyes then widen slightly. "i really like you lisa, i was serious, and i want to get in a relationship with you."

"but that's almost impossible." i let out almost bluntly, my hands go up to my hair and my fingers run themselves through my tresses. "yukhei this —"

"lisa, won't you give me a chance." i look at him, hesitantly. "even if you have your boyfriend, and i have my fiance, i can end it. i have enough money and i am also of age to live by myself and have my own money saved. i know that you're still in this relationship, is beause you can't bring yourself to end it with your boyfriend yet,

but please, a chance would suffice,

and as much as it hurts, if you don't want to end it, then i guess it's also fine for me to stay as an object for your own use."

my heart is being tightly gripped upon, yukhei was too nice, he was so sweet and he seemed so naive just to think that way. i want to end it with jungkook, because i barely have any feelings for him anymore, after having him play around with my trust — it's quite hard to go back.

i look down and feel my eyes sting but i hold my tears in by swallowing the growing knot in my throat. i nod my head before lifting my head and smile, trying as best as i can.

"are you really sure that's what you mean?" my voice broke in the end. "are you really sure you want to have feelings for me?" yukhei stood up from his chair and made his way around the table, he kneels before me and takes my hands in his, one of them reaching for my cheek and caressing it.

"was i too fast?" he whispered and i just shook my head, looking up for a split second and sniffing to make sure i wouldn't cry right there.

again, i shook my head. "no, no. but, i don't want to hurt you, yukhei, i can be selfish, will you be able to handle that?"

he smiles sweetly in return and lifts both of our sealed hands to his lips, gently placing his lips on the back of my hands. "if it means having you, then i would be able to handle it."

i look down and clench my eyes shut, a smile not being able to stop itself from spreading across my cheeks painfully and another sniff leaves me.

"i am not ready to move on, but i can promise it's not going to take long until i can end it with jungkook."

but...
     would you be ready, jungkook?