I slept for a few hours before the nightmares kicked in. To be honest, it was great I got some sleep at all. I woke myself up by screaming. When I jolted awake I found myself in a pair of strong arms, at first I struggled but when I heard his soothing voice I calmed down. "Sshh. It's okay. I got you." He gently ran his fingers through my hair, calming me slightly. "I can't take another night like this. Listening to you scream." His voice was tired. I looked at the clock. 3:21am. I pushed myself out of his embrace.
"I'll leave then. I hate keeping you up like this, making you care for me like I'm just a child. I'm a burden on you. That's the truth of it. I'll leave, then you won't have to worry." I pulled my suitcase from under the bed.
"No no. That's not what I meant, I meant getting you some help. Taking you to see a therapist. Help get rid of these nightmares."
"But I'm still a burden, you do everything for me and I mean everything. Yeah my leg is in this cast, not for much longer I hasten to add, but still. I want to be able to do stuff for you! I can't have you caring for me 24/7." I cried, I do feel bad for not doing anything, he's so caring and polite and it's like I'm taking that for granted.
"Beth. Hey Beth, look at me." I looked up at him, still sat up in bed. In the pale light of the moon that shone through the gaps in the blind he looked almost angelic. "You are no burden. I only do all this so you can relax and focus on getting better. Plus, hasn't my doing everything also given you time to revise for your exams? Once you're better, of course I'll still want to do things for you, I worship the ground you walk on, but you'll be able to do stuff. So if it's that you're worried about. Don't be." He pulled back the covers and patted the bed beside him. "Come on. Come back and try to get some more sleep. We're both at school tomorrow and your friends are dying to see you. They always come up and ask about you during their breaks and free periods." I slipped back into bed as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Not like I'll be able to sleep." I sighed. "I'm still afraid to close my eyes."
"Maybe if you talk about it, it may help." His voice was soft, it just came out.
"I see the things that scare me the most. I watch mum die, over and over, I'm being beaten again, I see you die, I see you leave me. Everything. I'm just scared." I cried into his chest.
"Hey. It's okay. None of that will ever happen. I'll never leave or hurt you. You never had nightmares this bad before the funeral."
"I guess it just brought all these feeling to the surface, whereas before I was just surprising them. Since then I've let go. I've accepted mum's death, all I think about is my injury and how I can't do anything with it, how he changed my life. I feel the guilt of staying with you and doing nothing. Everything."
"I guess it did bring all of your emotion to a head. You can get through it though. I know you can. You're a strong young woman and I will do all I can to help you." I sighed and held onto him tighter.
"What did I do to deserve you?" I smiled as he kissed he top of my head, my eyelids growing heavy from tiredness and crying, I drifted off into sleep. It was peaceful, I still felt the same fear but the nightmares were gone, for tonight.
A few hours later I woke up to the alarm clock blaring on the table beside the bed. I sat up, turning it off and got ready for school. First exams today. Great, just what I needed.
Ben drove us to school where I was met by my friends, they all embraced me in a massive hug.
"We thought you weren't going to come back! We were so worried. Don't you dare do that to us again!" Nat spoke, playfully punching me on the arm.
"Sorry guys. My heads not in a great place right now. But it's ok. I'm working on it. I'm going to go to a therapist." I smiled at Ben who nodded and walked off to his classroom. "Come on. Let's go. We have our Lit exam in an hour. We need to revise."
"Yeh. Like you need to revise." Nat laughed. "You're dating our English teacher." As soon as she said it she regretted it. The others looked at me with shock.
"You're What?!" Chloe shouted.
"Sshhh. Please. Not so loud." I begged. "Yeh. He took me in as I have no family but... other stuff happened along the way. But no one can know! You have to promise me! Benedict could lose his job if anyone knew!" I pleaded with my friends not to say anything. They just turned to Nat.
"You knew?! You knew and didn't tell us?!" The shouted, obviously annoyed with her as much as me.
"She made me promise not to tell anyone! I swear." She defended herself, backing up slightly.
"Beth." They turned back to me. "We are your friends, you should be able to tell us anything. But this, I can't believe you've been hiding this, What else have you lied to us about hm?"
"Nothing! I swear, I was just worried about what'd happen to Ben."
"Oh. I see. You get knocked around a bit by your mums boyfriend and some guy takes pity on you, now all of a sudden, nothing else matters. Poor Beth Cole, she's so hard done by. Give me a break, you realise as soon as you can walk again he'll help you into a house and run off with the drama teacher he's been screwing right! You've really shown who you are Beth. Thanks for caring about how your friends are doing. I'm done. Don't ever speak to me again, you haven't cared thus far so don't start caring again now." Chloe spoke before storming off. I collapsed to the ground crying, Nat ran to my side, placing an arm around me.
"Come on Beth, you know she's jealous and yeh a little hurt by you not talking to her, she just doesn't understand what you've been through." She comforted me. "Let's get to our exam, then I'll walk you home, I'll stay with you until he gets home and we'll help you. Yeh?" I nodded slowly, What Chloe said still running through my mind.
"He isn't seeing anyone else is he?" I spoke quietly as we walked to the exam hall.
"No. He has been spending a lot of time with Miss Ires but I have no idea why, they just spend lunch together that's all."
"Oh. Okay..." I mumbled. "Let's just get this exam over and done with eh."
We walked in and sat the two hour exam, it was surprisingly easy which I wasn't expecting. Bar and I walked out towards the school gates, I'm glad we only had to go in for our exams and that today we only had the Lit exam. As we walked through the school I could feel eyes on me, staring, burning into me. "Nat. Is there something on me, people keep staring." I questioned, walking out of the school gates. One girl kicked away my crutch as I was leaning on it causing me to fall over. She just looked down at me and muttered "whore." As she passed me.
"What was that all about?" Nat asked.
"No idea. But I think Chloe may have told one or two people about who I'm seeing..." Nat helped me up and we continued walking. "That's it. Ben will hate me as I've let slip our relationship. He'll lose his job, he'll probably kick me out and never wanna talk to me again because of this and I will be left with nothing." I sobbed as we walked back to the house. I let myself in and collapsed onto the bed in tears. "You go home Nat, I'll be okay, he'll be home early anyway." Reluctantly, after much persuasion she left and I hobbled back upstairs and packed my things.
Ok so it's been 4 years since my last update so here. It's a bit of filler and fluff. I can't remember where I was taking this story tbh but I've got a new direction in mind. Hope yall still like it and I'm sorry for being absent for so long. Uni is a killer but I've found a little time to update so here we go again.
-Jadieelynchx
