Too Burnt Out to Fly

Falling

She kept walking, not sure of where she was or what she was doing, lost inside her mind. She walked up towards the mountains, turning back as the sunlight began to fade slightly beyond the horizon. She had no idea where she was going to go, but she knew she needed somewhere. The cold and the dark were closing in and she didn't want to try to use magic to keep herself warm. She didn't want to use magic anymore. As she reached the edge of Hogsmeade again, she saw an old shack, crumbling and rotten, but sheltered. Safe. And that was what she needed now. It didn't look as if anyone cared about it and that was confirmed when she pushed open the boarded-up door and it crashed to the floor. She sighed and picked it up, pushing it back into the frame. The house looked no better on the inside, but it was warm. Delphi wasn't tired anymore and she paced the rooms, trying to forget everything that had happened that day. She walked round and round, again and again, part of her wishing that she was still in Azkaban, where she was safe, where she didn't have to think about how she would survive each day, where her nightmares had started to stay away. But, she was here. And she was also determined to get herself back on track. She just didn't know what 'back on track' was because she had never been 'on track'. She sighed and sat down in one of the rooms, staring at the paper as it peeled off the walls and wondering why there were brown, bloody stains covering the floor. She wondered what the person who had lived here had gone through for the shack to end up in that state, all the furniture broken, all the windows boarded up.

A few days past. Delphi didn't leave the house, didn't eat, didn't try to convince herself that she could pull through because she didn't know how to pull through. She had never really known. She slept in the only bedroom, not entirely sure why as the bed was just as hard as the floor. No one tried to enter the shack; no one came looking for her. She liked it like that. It gave her time to think. When she could bring herself to think about everything. One morning, when she had managed to get her sleeping patterns under more control, she had woken to hear quiet voices from outside the corridor. She didn't recognise them and stayed quiet as three figures appeared from behind the door. They were laughing and talking avidly, but one girl broke off awkwardly as she saw Delphi, sat up on the bed, watching them nervously.
"Uh...Will," she muttered. Will turned around.
"What?" he asked. The girl pointed at Delphi.
"What happened, Jessa?" someone else asked. They stopped short as they saw Delphi. Delphi tried to smile as she stood up.
"Sorry," she mumbled, "I know I'm not allowed to be here. I just...I had nowhere and it was a ruin, so I thought..." she trailed off.
"Who are you?" Will asked, "I feel like I know you."
"You won't know me," Delphi said quietly, "You couldn't know me."
"Why not?" Will said curiously.
"Because I remember every face I have ever seen, and I have never seen you," Delphi said. Will took a step back and frowned.
"I've seen you before," he said, almost inaudibly, "I saw you when you convinced them that you weren't a sadistic, murdering bitch."
"Will?" Jessa looked worriedly at him.
"She...she got out..." Will gasped, "They let her out."
"Let her out of where?" Jessa said, keeping her tone calmly. Delphi felt herself beginning to lose herself in a pit of emotion and memory and she forced herself to take deep breaths, desperate not to let it get out of hand now.
"They let a murderer, a torturing, thieving murderer, out of Azkaban," Will snapped.
"No," Delphi whispered.
"You're denying it?" Will demanded. Delphi shook her head frantically, hugging her knees.
"I...I didn't kill...didn't kill anyone," she couldn't keep herself calm now, "I...I swear...I–"
"So my brother just dropped dead of his own accord?" Will snarled, picking up a scrap of furniture from the floor.
"Will," the other girl said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Will, step back. Just, slow down."
"SHUT UP AELIANUS!" Will roared, "She killed my brother and got away with it. Am I supposed to sit and watch too?"
"No, but–"
"SHE MURDERED MY BROTHER!" Will yelled, throwing the scrap of furniture across the room towards Delphi. She shielded her head and dived down, burying her face in the bed, trying to distract herself.
"I didn't," she cried, over and over, "I didn't. I didn't. I didn't." The scraps of wood kept flying towards her, despite Jessa and Aelianus' best efforts to stop Will's uncontrollable anger. Delphi slipped down the side of the bed, trying to hide. She crawled away, trying to reach a corner, and screamed as her arm dragged over some sort of loose nail, tearing through her dress and slicing at her arm. She pulled herself up to the bed, leaning against it and trying to count her breaths. Objects were still being thrown at her, but she tried to shield herself as she ripped the hem off the bottom of her dress and pressed it to the wound.
"Will, slow down," Jessa said, trying to do something or other – Delphi couldn't see what.
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE!" Will screamed, "YOU DON'T KNOW..." Delphi tried to keep everything out of her head, tried not to see Craig's body fall, over and over.
"Will," Aelianus said, a more-steely tone beginning to edge her voice, "Will, you need to stop now. You're going to hit someone."
"It's her!" Will picked up another piece of wood, "You don't get it, do you? She destroyed everything. You don't understand that. You don't know what that's like."
"I know what it's like," someone said quietly from behind them. Delphi backed up into the corner, trying not to scream again. Scorpius stood on the other side of the room, watching them worriedly.
"How would you know?" Will snarled, "How would you know what this feels like?" Scorpius glanced at Delphi, who was desperately trying to keep her thoughts out of her mind, trying to keep them in a place where they would not hurt her. But it didn't work. It hadn't ever worked when she had needed it to.
"Delphi," Scorpius said. She looked over at him, terrified, "Delphi, slow down. I'll be over in a moment." Delphi nodded frantically, holding onto his words.
"So, you believe her too?" Will snapped, "You believe the sob story she told to get herself out?"
"Will, it wasn't–"
"She lied to you in that letter," Will interrupted angrily, "She admitted that freely. What's to stop her from lying to you again."
"Will," Scorpius said calmly, "I understand that you're angry–"
"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?" Will screamed. Jessa pulled him back and he pulled away from her.
"I was there," Scorpius said quietly; Delphi could see he was struggling to talk about it, "I was there when Craig died."
"You were there when she killed Craig?" Will stopped.
"When he was killed," Scorpius nodded.
"And you still believe her?" Will muttered.
"Will," Delphi whispered hoarsely, "I have...I have some sort of proof."
"What?" Will demanded.
"When I was in Azkaban," Delphi murmured, "I was attack, by...by him."
"And how is that proof?" Will snapped, "You failed him, even if it wasn't forced." Delphi removed her hand from her wounded arm, gritting her teeth at the pain, and swept her hair away from her neck to reveal a jagged scar in the shape of an 'A'. She had tried so hard to forget that scar, tried so hard to forget it had ever happened, but now she felt a shimmer of pride rushing through her. The scars proved that she had made it, that she was safer now, no matter how scared she was.
"He..." she paused, "Rodolphus gave me that scar. It was supposed to be a reminder that Albus and Scorpius weren't safe. I didn't notice it until it had scarred." Will remained unconvinced.
"Listen, Will," Scorpius took a deep breath, "When you get back to the school, I want you to go to my office, in the library, and wait there for me. We can talk everything over. Okay?"
"Okay," Will said quietly, his tone still holding a trace of anger.
"Jessa and Aelianus," Scorpius turned to them, "You should probably come up with a valid excuse as to why you are in Hogsmeade on a Sunday morning," he said it sternly and then smiled kindly, "Off you go." Will, Jessa and Aelianus scurried nervously through the door. Delphi pressed the cloth back to her arm and tried to stand up, gritting her teeth to stop herself from yelling out.
"I shouldn't...I shouldn't be here," she muttered, knowing that talking properly would mean that she would scream, "I'll go," she started to leave.
"Sit down," Scorpius said firmly. Delphi shook her head.
"I'm fine," she said.
"You not," Scorpius insisted, "You're bleeding everywhere." Delphi looked at where she had been sat. The floor and bed were soaked in blood, her blood. She sank down on the bed, taking her hand away from the wound. Blood was still trickling from it, slowly now, but Delphi was beginning to feel faint. Scorpius sat down next to her, taking out his wand and pushing Delphi's sleeve up to her shoulder. He murmured something, sighing, relieved, as the wound closed itself, the pain fading into a faint throbbing. Delphi let out a breath that she hadn't realised she had been holding in. Scorpius smiled at her and he began to siphon the drying blood off her arm.
"Thank you," Delphi said quietly.
"Don't mention it," Scorpius smiled, "How are you? Albus told me that you got into a bit of trouble a few days ago."
"He knew that was me?" Delphi asked.
"Peter told him," Scorpius explained. He paused, "What's that? On your arm?" Delphi down at her arm, recoiling slightly at the spidery scars that covered it. She was not scared of them, not ashamed of them, she had just tried to forget them, forcing herself to keep them from her thoughts. Scorpius looked her in the eye, "What is that?"
"Scars," Delphi's voice cracked. She had not seen them properly since the day she had gotten her tattoo.
"Rodolphus?" Scorpius asked. Delphi shook her head.
"Euphemia," she said quietly, pulling her sleeve down again, "When...when I was seven, I began to show signs of magic. I knew it wasn't unnatural – I had seen Euphemia use magic – but she punished me for it. The rest of the wounds healed, but she wouldn't let these ones go. She said I needed to have a permanent reminder that I was worthless and would never belong. And she was right."
"She wasn't right," Scorpius said firmly, "You are not worthless. And you will belong, soon enough."
"I should go," Delphi said quickly, standing up, a sudden urge to get outside overcoming her.
"Are you sure?" Scorpius asked.
"Yeah," Delphi tried to smile, "Yeah, I need to go somewhere."
"A home?" Scorpius said.
"Uh, yeah," Delphi tried to smile again.
"You haven't got anywhere to go," Scorpius saw right through her, "Have you?" Delphi shook her head.
"I have if I'm desperate," she said quietly, "I just don't want to go back to his house."
"That's fine," Scorpius smiled, "Listen, this house is Hogwarts' property. I'll have to speak to some people, but I'm sure they'll be okay with us fixing the place up and you could stay here for as long as you needed to get back on your feet."
"Okay," Delphi smiled, "Thanks."
"Don't mention it," Scorpius smiled back, before he left and returned down the passage.