Chapter 19: It Was Okay

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*Hello ladies and gents, before we get into this chapter I would like to thank you all for caring about the things I write, when I first started writing it was just a hobby, but people actually enjoying it is another story. Anyway let's get into this, shall we?*

(Feliciano's POV)

Alfred, Kiku, Toris, and me were all gathered in our little club room, discussing the possibility of a new recruit. That new recruit was none other than Norway. Surprisingly, Kiku was the one who brought up the proposition.

"Guys, I think we should ask Norway to join our club." Kiku said, upon entering the club room. "I was just about to suggest that to, he was there for me when no one else really was and I can tell his situation with his brother is a little rocky like mine and Feli's." Alfred added.

I looked at Toris who nodded his head in agreement. "I mean the club was made to be a safe place and if he makes us feel safe, and we can help him then we should do it." I looked at the others and felt one of the genuine smiles I've been getting a lot recently grace my face. Being here helped us all heal and grow a lot as individuals, more couldn't hurt.

After further discussion on the topic we all unanimously decided to sleep on the floor today. Me and Alfred both threw all the blankets, pillows, and sheets we could find into the middle of the room while Tori's and Kiku set them up as a big organized bed. That night, surrounded by all my friends, I had the best sleep of my life.

(Toris' POV)

The next morning all of us left the makeshift bed on the floor and went to the dining room. We were the first people to enter the dining room that morning, surprisingly. Soon, more and more nations began to enter the room, most of them paying us no mind.

After a while Norway finally entered the room with Denmark, listening intently to what he was saying. All of us made eye contact over the table before Alfred slowly got up and made his way over to the two Nordic nations. I saw Alfred gently tap Norway's shoulder, looking slightly nervous before pointing toward our table.

I saw Norway look over at Denmark before both he and Alfred made their way to the table. I could blatantly tell that Norway was picking up on Alfred's nerves as he looked at him with concern. Once they both arrived at the table he said, "you wanted to ask me something?" Looking towards me then Kiku for an explanation.

The Japanese nation gave Norway a polite smile before speaking, "yes, we were wondering if you would like to join our club of sorts? It's basically a place where all of us can just be... us and not our nations. I know this may sound weird and you don't have to answer right away, we just wanted to bring it up to you." At this Feliciano butted in, "you also have to pick a human name to call yourself."

After our case was made I looked over to Norway who had an unreadable expression on his face. "I'll think about it." He said giving us a small smile, before getting up to rejoin Denmark. While the smile was reassuring I could still feel my stomach twist in anxiety, and I knew Alfred was far worse off.

(Feliciano's POV)

After a few minutes we all stood up and made our way to the meeting room, where the next reading was going to take place. The reader this time was France who looked more than happy to read it.

Dear Diary,
Spain kept swooning over fratello's art, so I tried to draw some. It was awful! That idiot found it and told me it was okay, and told me to stop crying. He even hung it up on his wall to show off. Not that I care at all... idiot...

I frowned after this entry was read. I knew that my brother always thought I was better than him, even though that's not true. I may exceed in certain things that he doesn't, but so does he! I wish he could just see that. Over the years I could tell it got to him, while he still loved me he became more distant and hostile... was it my fault?

Whenever Spain came home from a particularly taxing battle, he would sleep for at least an entire day to regain his strength. Romano would sit beside his bedside until Spain's eyelids would flutter open.

The room smiled at this entry while my brother turned the color of a ripe tomato. I could see that he was obviously flustered not expecting that secret to get blabbed to the world, literally. Next to him Spain gave him a proud smile and pulled him into a side hug and signaled France to continue reading.

Dear Diary,
One day I was going over to Spain and saw him crying. I couldn't believe it. Spain that is always smiling is crying. I was sad, upset, and worried. So I did everything to cheer him up... I don't know what I would do if he stopped smiling...

As I looked around the room I could see some bittersweet faces, most likely from hearing that Spain had cried from an unknown cause. It is very unsettling to hear that Spain had cried, though he is only human. I saw Spain giving Romano a thankful smile, squeezing the shoulder his hand still laid on.

Dear Diary,
I caught Roma crying again. He wouldn't tell me why, or what's wrong. He just stands there crying.

I felt my insides turn at this entry. I could never imagine my older brother crying, and thinking of the possibility I was the cause made the discomfort even greater. Alfred seemed to sense this as he comfortingly pulled me into a side hug and rubbed my shoulder. When I turned to look at him I could see his eyes weren't looking at me pitifully and instead looking away as not to make it seem like a big deal. I couldn't help but smile thankfully at him.

Dear Diary,
If Antonio watches one more Animal Planet special about jungle cats  I'm going to punch him down into Africa and see if he likes it when those darn babies grow up and EAT HIS FACE OFF.

Everyone laughed at this entry, even Romano cracked a smile. At least I thought it was everyone. After the entry was read my eye caught Germany who looked at me with an almost hurt look in his eyes.

Dear Diary,
I'm still wondering what Spain sees in me. There's nothing special about me. I'm rude, I'm lazy, I'm not artistic, or good with trade like my brother. I'm the complete opposite of him! Felix is perfect, and I'm just his stupid older brother. What does that tomato eating idiot see in me?

The next entry that was read gave the room a gloomy atmosphere and I couldn't stop the feeling of guilt crawling up my throat, begging for release. I didn't heed to the request though and opted to keep my mouth shut. I wasn't about to steal the spotlight from my brother, not again.

Dear Diary,
I will never let the stupid tomato go. Not like my idiot brother and Holy Rome. Hell, if he wants to leave, let him try. He better know that I will run after that idiot's butt of his faster than his armada could sink. Because underneath it all, I... I love him.

After this statement was read I saw my brother hurriedly stand up and try and make a run for it. Before he could though Spain pulled him back down as he still had his arm around him from earlier. Without any words Spain just smiled down at him before placing a kiss onto his forehead. My brother stared up at him with wide eyes before his face lit up red. I smiled at them and heard a few chorus' of agreement and awws. Silently, I made my way out of the room with Alfred next to me. No one even realized we had left but it was okay.

*And that guys is chapter 19 of The Secrets of a Nation. I hope all of you enjoyed and I will see all of you next time, Bye!*

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