Seventeen – A Reunion, a Revelation, and a Really Bad Idea

He just needs some space. He needs some time to comprehend all this. That's all this is. He's not icing me out. He's not...

Jessica ate lunch by herself in the kitchen, her mind focused on Sam. He'd woken up not long after Cas and Jo had gone on the beer run. Sam hadn't believed Jessica was alive at first, not until she grabbed his arm to prove it. Since then, he'd abruptly left his room in a haste, leaving her a little crestfallen.

As far as reunions went, hers with Sam sucked.

They better come back with that beer soon, I might just need one.

Jessica thought about checking up on Jody and Charlie's progress in finding Dean, Alex, Claire, and Meg. She wondered if Sam had found them yet; he'd seemed hell-bent on finding Dean once the demon got out of him. She wondered if he was willing to listen to Jody and Charlie more than he was willing to listen to her...

Jessica was hurt, she couldn't deny that. She was with a different Sam, but he was still her Sam. And it was like he wanted nothing to do with her. Like he was purposely running from her, like she was a haunting reminder of his past...of their past...

Maybe that was it, Jessica thought. Maybe her being alive again brought up painful memories for him. Ouch. It's definitely not intentional.

As she chewed the last bits of her sandwich, she looked up and felt the awkward air come over her head. Sam had arrived, and he looked about ready to hightail it away from the kitchen.

"I'll let you pass," Jessica attempted to joke as she swallowed her food. Sam cocked his head. "It was supposed to be a Lord of the Rings joke. You know, 'you shall not pass!'"

Sam's awkward laugh made Jessica feel embarrassed.

"You must be hungry," she murmured.

"I-I can get my food, thanks."

Jessica felt hurt as he shot her offer down. She knew he could feel her eyes watch his every movement. His movements seemed extra slow as a result. She returned to plucking staling chips out of the bag near her paper plate. Should've thought to make up a grocery list.

"You won't find beer, if that's what you're hunting for. Cas and...and Jo went out."

Even at the mention of Jo's name, Sam remained silent.

Jessica licked her lips. "Okay, I get it. You don't want to talk. I don't know why I'm trying to make conversation when all it does is make me sound stupid..." She turned, and Sam had his back to her. "I get it, it's a huge shock. People you know are back from the dead. You're in the dark." Now you know how it feels, she wanted to say. But she didn't; she knew it would be rubbing salt in a wound. "Pretending it's not in front of you doesn't help, Sam."

Sam's body slumped after his heavy sigh. He slowly turned to Jessica, still avoiding her eyes. "How are you alive?"

"Cas. He, uh, formed a team when he couldn't find you or Dean." She rubbed one of her arms. "Believe me, I'm the last person he should've brought back."

At this, Sam perked up in surprise. "Why would you say that?"

"I never knew what you did, Sam. You kept this secret from me for all that time. I'm not trying to guilt you into anything. I never told me."

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