Her Worst Nightmare. (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Depressions

~Kizzie~

de·pres·sion

diˈpreSHən/

noun

1.

Severe despondency and dejection typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.

Shifting around under my covers I peeled my crusted and swollen eyelids open with a heavy sigh. Today was Saturday...I was a fucking wreck on a Saturday. You'd think I'd slowly stop crying so much and try to fix my life but it kept falling apart. Any conversation with Diamond ended in a heated argument. Everyone else kind of just gave up like expected. Well except for my brother Avery....his reactions where just about the same as Diamonds though.

Although he still texted me from time to time hoping I'd reply.

Rolling over slowly I winced feeling my knee and neck crack painfully. Sitting up slowly I sucked down the tears welding inside of me again as pain coursed through my limber muscles, and limped to my bathroom. I ignored the mirror; I ignored the brush and the comb. My only obstacle was the toilet.  I wouldn't even going to wash up unless my body odor became extremely bothersome. Using the bathroom I adjusted my pajama shorts and washed my hands, before going back into my room.

"I'm going to your grandmas, get dressed."

I starred at the ground feeling my cheeks and ears get hot. I was beyond annoyed right now... I didn't want the pity, questionable and sad looks from her and everyone else. But of course I had no choice and I wasn't in the mood for her yelling at me. So I dragged myself around my room and decided on jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt, and pink timblans. As for my hair...it was braided up into box braids. I'd just pull it into a tight bun for now.

Kizzie stripped out of her pajamas, socks and panties throwing them off to the side. Leaning up on her tippy toes she tried to keep her eyes away the mirror as she turned the warm water on. Despite her attempts her doe brown eyes led her straight to her appearance.

And it was fucked...

Looking away from the mirror I screamed and began throwing anything my fingers touched until I couldn't physically muster anymore energy. Sinking down to the ground I held my head in my hands, picking at the healing cuts on my inner thighs. I couldn't take it anymore. This was literally eating me alive, rather I liked it or not I had to reveal who raped me but before anything else I had to slowly tell my friends and Antonio.....I'd start off with ....Diamond ... I think..

"Kizz you almost ready Hun?" Raising my head I cleared my throat and answered her.

"Yeah! Just a few more minutes!" The sound of my bedroom door clicking shut, told me she was gone. I raised myself up from the floor and limped to the shower, bracing my feet against the wet tub floor. I grabbed my bottle of body wash and squeezed it over my body just drenching myself in soap until I felt clean and relaxed. I stood under the water just taking my time until the water grew cold. Leaning over I cut the water off and stepped out starring at myself again.

I could do this.....

Turing around on my heels I jogged/hobbled back in my room, yanking on some socks, a plain white long sleeved T-shirt, some true religion jeans and my leg brace. Moving over too my bed, I stuffed my feet into my timblans slowly and grabbed my charger, headphones and cellphone stepping out into the hallway. I paused after being greeted by the smell of coffee. Grinning ear to ear for once in a long week I practically threw myself down the steps and into the kitchen. My mom stood there scrolling away on her phone, a cup of tea in her hand, and a Tim Horton's coffee cup with my name scribbled on it by her side. Nodding silently too me she stepped out of my way and headed for the door. I felt my emotions shift into slight happiness as I walked to the car, hearing the crunch of the slushy snow under my feet. It'd been about a week in a half since we went on break. Finals ended in January and Antonio left the 7th of February. It was the 12th today, a Wednesday actually sooo I had the rest of this week up until next Sunday... Then there was school. All in all this day seemed to be....going better...