Random Writings and Drabbles ((Complete and Incomplete))

First three chapters of Can We Love?

With a small sigh, I get used to the new formation. Rolling my eyes in secret I pull my hood up. I would keep it down because of the rain but I enjoyed the shadow it casts on my face and how it hid my eyes. Being so young, and having a petite figure, I always felt as if they looked down on me. As if they always thought lower of me then everyone else, I hated it with a burning passion. I hated being looked down upon, being thoughts less of, being ignored, and most of all I hated my age. My uncle got me into the survey corps because he basically showed off my skills and without my permission all of the strategies I have written out since I was little. Which if your wondering I always had a more military upbringing so if I wasn't reading I was doing stuff like that.  Erwin decided I had the skills to not just die on my first expedition and had some smarts that could be helpful. Most the time I'm just overlooked, another thing I hate, by everyone. Most the time I can see they just want out of a conversation when I start one with them, I can tell by the tone and how most of the time they say they have to go do something. I guess that's why there are only a few people I even bother to talk to, well annoy. That would be Levi, Hanji, my Uncle, Erwin, and lastly Sarah. Sadly Sarah died this expedition, she died protecting her girlfriend who I'm pretty sure is now insane. I could see why, they have been dating since she was 11 so almost 10 years since their anniversary was on Friday, three days from now. Not to mention before they left Josie said, "Sarah when we come back from this expedition, will you marry me? " To which Sarah replied with, "Of course I will Josie. I could never dream of not marrying you. " Then hugged her while crying, it was only an hour later we left. Both were so happy, now I bet one is insane. It looks like with the look on her face and all the talking to herself, or to 'Sarah' as she claims. She was likely going to be one of the next few to die, there is a reason that we shouldn't make close bonds with other members, it only results in tragedy, pain, suffering.... and most of all it results in depression. I had suffered it first hand with my friend group... Hina, Lan, Yurio, Izanami, and Ayanami. I had loved them all in my own little way, I probably liked Yurio in more than a friend way as well. Everyone told me I changed after that, I became more cold and distant, that I kept everyone at arm's length. They were probably right too, I knew they were right in the back of my mind to. Now I'm afraid to everyone lose those who I keep dear, so I keep them at arm's length to prevent myself from feeling that anymore, that feeling of guilt, torture, depression, and pure unbridled anger. I guess it was about that time I also started to change my view of the world and way of thinking. To me I can see Levi kinda like me, he isn't really close to anyone as far as he thinks but if Hanji got eaten it would take a toll on him. It would on everyone, we may get annoyed by her insanity and bizarre experiments (I'm normally her gunny pig so they can't say anything) but without her, it would be so boring and there would be no one to do the research that she does. Without her, we would be so lost and bored out of our minds.

Slightly chuckling I can almost feel someone's eyes land on mine, I have no clues who's though because of the hood that should have fallen off of my head by now. It was a big question I had about them, those hoods can stay up when even Levi is going all out on his ODM which should be physically impossible since there isn't a clip or anything to keep it in place. I hear some yelling, it seems we are going into combat. This will be fun, really fun. I have some pent up anger so this is an easy way to get it out of my system. Hopefully all of it so nothing happens in town.

~~~~~~~Smol time skip~~~~~~~~

My hood stays over my face as we ride into town, I was planning to leave and hang out with the trio, my sister, and my 'parents'. I was planning to drop by my real fathers house as well and tell him the bad news before that bitch of a biological mom got home. Walking down the streets I see Eren and Mika, and some trash-talking people in front of them. Slipping off of my horse I walk over to them, kicking the one who I heard talking in the balls as Eren hit his the head with a stick. In a low and dangerous tone I warn them, maybe inform. "You think your tax money goes to fatten us up? How about you go a day in my life. I bet you would go insane. Have you watched the only people who cared about you, who loved you, who understood you to be eaten by titans? Have you ever seen one? No so how about next time you have a complaint you go and do it first you fucking morons. " I pull my hood back since it is starting to irritate me. "Have you been disowned by your family you privileged bitch? Have you had to live on the streets begging for food and money? No, yea thought so. Don't say something about someone if you don't know their story. " With a growl and likely a sneer I walk away to find my two friends. I had tuned out the yelling that had taken place as I was taking, I knew it was someone finally breaking down. I could guess by the direction Mika dragged Eren off to that it was the ally. I was correct when I arrived and helped to pick up the scattered sticks.