Forever and Always
Forever and always Seth had promised me. I would have to wait forever to see him again and I will always love him. As I hope he will too. He sends me dreams, just like he said he would. I enjoy the dreams, but they are not always the happiest thing. It has been a year since he died and since then Alex has become my best friend although he acts more like a protector most of the time.
“Hey, Karotane! Wait up! We are going to walk to school together, right?” Alex, Karotane’s best friend called.
“Oh, yeah. Give me one second.” I replied back.
I ran into my house to grab a jacket. When I walked in I saw something on the screen of my laptop it said, “Forever and Always. Don’t forget it, I haven’t.” I laughed when I saw it. It is kinda weird to know that someone is always watching you.
“Alex, where are you?” I asked.
“Behind the tree, we are gonna be late if you don’t hurry.” Alex said.
When we got to school he walked me to my locker. I grabbed my History book and walked to homeroom. When I got there I sat in the front, I liked to get out of the class as fast as I could. The class went by fast and soon I was in History and Alex was sitting next to me. Mr. Smallwood was having us take notes. We could work in partners if we would like.
“Would you be so kind to be my partner?” Alex asked. He was acting weird today.
“Um.. Sure. But we need to get the work done, OK?” I told him. I was going to try to ask him about why he was acting weird.
“Fine… So are you going to prom next month?” Alex asked shyly.
“Eh.. I dunno. Maybe, I might.” I said.
“You should… I was thinking maybe we could, I dunno, maybe if you wanted we could go together.” Alex said stuttering.
“I don’t really know if I want to go… just really doesn’t feel right to go… you know... right?” I said. I felt really bad.
“Oh, yeah I totally understand without a doubt… so let’s work on these notes why don’t we?” Alex said. His face expression told me he had expected a different response from me.
“Yeah, we should really get these notes done.” I said.
The rest of the day went by fast. After eighth period I walked to my locker to get my books. I walked outside and then my phone went off. I looked at the text, it was from Alex, it told me to meet him at Forest Hill. That’s weird; he knows that I am not really comfortable being there since Seth died… I am afraid that I might break down or something. I started to walk to Forest Hill. I was nervous, it must be somewhat urgent... I was scared.
“Alex? Where are you? You told me to come here? Why? Hello?” I called out.
“Karotane, I’ve been waiting.” Alex said with a smile on his face.
“Alex, are you okay? You are acting weird. What’s wrong?” I asked.
Something was wrong, I wondered if it had something to do with me not wanting to go with him to prom. I guess now that I think about it he has acted like we were a couple, but we weren’t. He acted as if it was his job to take care of me.
“Why did we have to meet here? You know I don’t like it here.” I said getting mad.
“You need to get over Seth, he is dead! You will not see him again. I like you, and you should like me. I have been trying to do everything right. I walk you to school, walk you home, and help you with your books. I try to make you forget him. I have tried, but every single time you mess it up. This time it was the last straw, you didn’t say yes to come with me to prom. You have to say yes! I will make you like me, love me. You will, I promise” Alex said, freaking out.
“That’s just not right. Look, I am sorry, but I don’t like you. You cannot force me to fall in love with you. It does not work that way I am sorry, but I don’t like you. I still love him. You are just going to have to deal with it. I know it didn’t go the way you planned, but I am not about to fake my feelings about you. I’m sorry, goodbye Alex.” I said walking away.
“No, wait. Look I’m sorry. It’s just I need you to go out with me. It’s hard to explain … you NEED to get over him. He is NOT coming back and you cannot spend your life waiting for him. He’s dead and I am starting to think you might as well be too.” Alex said, he looked like he might have a hysterical fit again.
“No, you do not understand! You do NOT control me and how I feel. Whatever you thought was going to happen between us, I promise you this. It will NOT happen, ever. And most of all you can thank yourself for that. Goodbye Alex.” I said running away.
“No… Karotane wait... you do not understand you will understand soon in time, I promise you will see you are better off with me… you will see…..” Alex said pacing back and forth by the apple tree.
“I will see? You are not making the slightest of sense and I have a feeling you just need some time to think this through.” I said walking off.
“Wait… let me explain. Please.” He said.
“No. I don’t want to hear it right now. Goodbye Alex, I will talk to you later.” I said walking down to the sidewalk. He had some real nerve doing that to me. It didn’t make sense either. I just need a little time to think by myself. I decided to call my mom and tell her that I was gonna be home late.
I started to walk towards town. I didn’t know where I planned to go, but I just felt like walking. I was mad, Alex was my one of my closest friends and I was disappointed. Something seemed wrong with him. He wasn’t being clear.
“Hmm… Maybe I just need to meet a new guy, for now at least.” I thought out loud. When I realized that I had really said it out loud I looked around to see if anyone was around. No one was.
I decided to go to Starbucks, I need a coffee. I walked in and ordered a cappuccino. I went and sat down in the corner, I didn’t want to be bothered by other people. The waitress came and brought me my cappuccino. I sipped some and started to feel a lot more relaxed. I reached into my jackets pocket and grabbed my iPod. I immediately got lost in the music. Before I knew it I was dreaming, but I was still awake.
“Karotane…” Seth said staring at me.
“Seth! I’ve missed you soooo much!” I exclaimed as I jumped into his arms.
“I’ve missed you too, Karotane. Look…” He started, but trailed off.
“What? And I dunno if you were there today or not, but Alex is acting really weird. He was telling me that we had to be together and that I would understand soon. Like what does he mean? He told me to get over you, but he doesn’t understand. I needed to talk to you. I don’t really understand. Everything is sorta falling apart again. I don’t know what to do.” Karotane sighed. She was sure he was going to tell her to just ignore him and that everything will be okay.
“I don’t like that idea, but Karotane you… you need to move on.. I am sorry… I really am.” Seth said looking into the distance. I saw one single tear roll off his face.
“Seth… I don’t understand, I… I thought we were… no this cannot be happening; please; please tell me this is some sick joke… please… Seth” I said crying. I had no clue what had happened. Something went wrong, but I had no clue what it was. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was completely heartbroken.
“I’m sorry, I just... Do not forget I love you okay? I will always love—I, I gotta go… Bye, I love you Karotane. I will try to explain—“Seth said but didn’t finish. He was gone.
