Angelic Sins: Chapter 13

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Chapter 13:

I won’t cry, it'll be fine. I’ll take my last breath; push it out my chest 'til there's nothing left.

– Hollywood Undead

                Alone. It is how I feel. Alone. I’ve been alone my whole life, but this is different. There is something different about how alone I feel now. I never thought losing her could do this to me. I don’t understand it. I’ve never pictured myself as one to take on a lover. I always assumed I would be alone. Not now. It seems as though I can’t live without her. I can’t seem to breathe without her. It’s not like I actually need to breathe, but it almost seems as if I could with her.

                My apartment is trashed now. Nothing is in the right place. Sitting on my recliner without a back really puts my mood down. I turn and look at the leather backing lying to my side. My head shakes with frustration. I can’t even sit comfortable thinking about her.

                The only thing that enters my mind is how I can get her to speak with me. If there were only something I could do to make her see that everything I did was for her. As if she’d believe me, yet who would trust a vampire? I don’t even trust myself and that isn’t a good sign. I feel the need to feed as I head to my fridge with the last jar of blood. I take it in my hands and feel the cold and it trickles down my mouth.

                If only it tastes like the warm blood of a fresh human. I shake such thoughts from my head. I cannot resort to cannibalism. It would only make me weaker and lost to Olivia forever. That is not my wish. I pace around my apartment pondering what to do.

                Memories come crashing into my mind: the taste of her lips and the warmth of her skin. It sends shutters throughout my body. I can feel her body rubbing against mine, and even her soft fingers falling down my chest. Even the memories of her touch bring such ecstasy to me. I grasp the back of my recliner and thrash it against a wall letting my rage out.

                I have to do something. I can’t sit in here idly as she sulks in depression for something I have done. I should have told her, but I was scared. I still am scared. While the moment of passion was intoxicating for me, it still meant nothing. Divinity is a goddess, but she isn’t my goddess.

                My keys slip into my hand from the wall where they are set. I must leave. It’s dusk now as I linger in the shades away from the setting sun. Quickly I find a way to my Camaro and start it up.


                I look around trying to find the source of the soft voice. The voice is intriguing as I find the source appearing in my back seat. In my seat appears Divinity smiling at me. It’s always a distraction how she appears naked wherever she is. I suppose that only the divine angels from the heavens were always like this. If Olivia was ever presented in such a state I would wonder how I could concentrate.

                “What are you doing in my car?” I ask.

                “It is a mistake going after Olivia. She is too hurt. If you cared for her so much than you should have told her.”

                “How could I? Everything happened too fast.”

                “If you lose her, you still have me.”

                I stare at her in disbelief now. After all this, and after what she caused me she still thinks I’d even consider being with her. I almost pity her.

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