TWITTER: stories from the underbelly (EDITING)

CHAPTER 28 Tips for Spotting Online Deception

copyright 2019 chris smith  All rights reserved.

"I don't blame you. I hear stories and I get disgusted too. But remember this, no matter what other ppl do, or how much they lie and try to manipulate, thats not who you are...its not how you choose to live your life and create relationships with. There's something to be said for being truthful and honoring yourself and your boundaries and your beliefs. Sure we don't get a prize or anything. But ya know we're not stringing ppl along trying to keep track of our lies in some massive war room. We're not stuck in some life we don't love, sitting in a body we don't love...pretending to be someone else...wrestling with demons we refuse to bring into the light."  @RantingsOfaGirl

First, these tips are not foolproof. There are countless ways to deceive online. You may not be a "catfish," but you could still deceive, manipulate, bully, troll, and/or emotionally abuse people online. You don't have to be a catfish to be deceitful.
Someone is being deceitful if they tell stories about their RL world and/or identity that are not fact and then perpetuate these lies through-out said relationships/social media accounts, sometimes changing stories/identities/photos for every relationship/social media account. Some may tell truths about certain aspects of their RL but lie about others. There's no way to know what they're lying and/or giving the facts about.
It should also be noted there's a difference between having boundaries about NOT sharing RL details and lying/manipulations/catfishing. People with boundaries have every right NOT to share their lives online, if they choose not to, which is the same right you have.
They have a right to say, "I'm not interested in sharing my private life online," or, "I'm not interested in creating relationships online," or whatever. The most significant difference is people with boundaries will state their boundaries and won't LIE/MANIPULATE/CATFISH/BULLY you instead.
Every person attempting to create a relationship (platonic, romantic, and/or sexual) has a right to decide if they want to create said relationship with someone who has such boundaries or not.
Be wary of ANYONE who puts pressure on you to share anything that exceeds your comfort or safety levels online or anyone who comes across as "perfect". Be careful about sharing anything of your RL with "strangers on the internet". I don't care how supportive, kind, sweet they come across.
There's a massive difference between having an online interaction with someone and living with them, day in and day out where they can't hide any/as much of their RL issues. We're all human and therefore faulty. No one is perfect. Though some are upfront about their RL issues. Other people are not. So they open an account on social media to create the perfect persona while they downplay/ignore/hide their RL issues. Remember that, if they put themselves upon a pedestal or you put them on one there yourself.

THINGS PEOPLE CAN & DO HIDE/IGNORE/FABRICATE ONLINE:
1. First name, last name, full legal name, etc.
2. Age.
3. Gender.
4. Race/culture.
5. Sexual Orientation/Interests.
6. Physique (height, weight, eyes, hair color/style/length, personal style/clothes, scars, etc.).
7. Relationship status (single, married, committed, divorced, etc.).
8. Family status (children, parents, siblings, etc.).
9. Physical Health (disabilities, illnesses, disease, surgeries, etc.).
10. Emotional Health (mental illness, breakdowns, trauma, suicide attempts, etc.).
11. Abuse (emotional, physical, substance, sexual, etc.).
12. Addictions (sex, gambling, shopping, drugs, prescription medications, alcohol, cigarette, etc.).
13. Past (childhood, family, relationships, children, etc.).
14. Education.
15. Job.
16. Physical location.
17. Religion/spirituality.
18. Morals or lack of.
19. Hobbies/interests.
20. Photos (selfies, friends, family, events, nudes, childhood, school, etc.).
21. Social media accounts.
22. Facebook account/s. Having a Facebook account doesn't legitimize anyone. And by the bye, people can block you on Facebook. If they block you on Facebook and then you search for them, they will NOT be included in any of the Facebook search results, because they blocked you. It would look like they don't even have a Facebook when they could very well have an account.
23. Anything and everything.