Chapter 36

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"Meghan!" Isaiah's voice thunders through the apartment. Loud stomps follow his shout.

"Hey!" I grin at him when he slides into the kitchen.

He yanks me to his side so abruptly I drop my spatula into the pan of eggs I was making.

"Uh, Isaiah?" My arm wraps around his back and I tap him on the shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I thought you left." His voice trembles as his left arm tightens around me and his right hand comes to rest on my stomach.

"It's my apartment." I laugh, trying to lighten his mood. "Why would I leave my apartment?"

He jerks away like I've burnt him. "That's not funny Meghan!" He shouts. "It's not funny now and it wasn't funny when I woke up to an empty house nine months ago."

"You're right." I reach to touch his arm but he steps back. Hurt floods through my chest at his rejection.

"Look, last night-" He starts but interrupt him.

"Oh god," My hands come to my face as my cheeks burn in embarrassment. "You regret it." I feel like crying.

"No, Meghan."

"Here I am in your shirt..." I mutter not hearing him. "And cooking."

"Meghan, stop." He grabs my arms and forces me to face him. "I don't regret it. I swear." He wraps his arms around my stiff body and places a swift kiss on my hairline. "We just- we need to talk." He says seriously. "I can't wake up every morning and have a damn heart attack every time you're not in bed with me the morning after we sleep together!" His voice gradually gets louder, by the time he finishes his sentence he's yelling. "Sorry," He breaths deeply.

I wrap my arms around his torso and get as close as I can. "Let's talk then okay?" I whisper into his chest, then look into his eyes. "I'm so angry with you." I bite my lip and breathe deeply. "So angry. I loved you so much. You didn't trust me. You didn't trust me enough to talk to me. You jumped off the freaking conclusion bridge."

He chuckles but I glare at him. "Sorry." He wipes the smile off his face. "For everything."

"You moaned Isaiah. I heard it." My voice cracks. "I still hear it." Traitorous tears escape my eyes and Isaiah grabs my wrists so can't wipe them away.

"Oh Megs," He sighs making me cry harder. "Hey, I faked it." He blurts out quickly.

"W-what?" I hiccup.

"I knew you were standing there, and I was so-"

The sting on my palm registers before anything else.

"Do you know how many times I woke up, vomiting, because the only thing I could hear in my nightmares was that fake moan." I spit at him and his face crinkles into despair, but hardens a moment later.

"And how many times do you think I woke up, vomiting, because the only thing I could see in my nightmares was you with another guy- having his child." His voice is like steel.

"No," I shove him back. "You don't get to do that. It's your fault."

"No, it's not! I did not force you to tell me this baby wasn't mine." He grips my wrists again and I glare at him, not willing to give in. "You're pissed at me? Well, guess what babe? I'm pissed at you too." His hands on my wrists tighten. "I missed out on nine months. Your entire pregnancy! I saw the gender reveal and that's it. I deserved more!"

"You sounded so relieved when I said he wasn't yours." My heart breaking at the despair in his voice.

"I was trying not to cry like a bitch." He says bluntly. "Is that what you want to hear? That I was standing in a nursery I made for my baby just to hear it wasn't mine." He starts waving his arms around in front of him. "I cried on Cameron's shoulder, punched a few holes in the wall, then drank myself into oblivion for a whole week."

"Isaiah." I almost wail.

"I get it. I made a mistake in high school. A horribly, stupid mistake. But Meghan, you lied about one of the most important things I can ever experience!"

"What if we put everything behind us?" I suggest, trying to dry my eyes. "Jump, from high school to now. Go back to how it was?"

"We can't go back to how it was." I says, but his hesitation says otherwise.

"Yes, we can." I place both hand on his shaking head. "Isaiah, do you love me?" I know the answer now but I want to hear him say it.

"Yes, but-"

"Then we can. I love you. I love you just as much as I did in high school!" I'm frantically trying to convince him. "We can-"

"Meghan, in high school you were ready to move in with me. Right now, if we put the next five years behind us, are you going to move in with me?"

I pause and think for a moment. Am I ready to move in with him? Wake up next to him every morning? My mind goes to earlier this morning when I woke up, how secure I felt.

Isaiah's eyes are studying me, patiently awaiting my answer, like it could make or break him.

"I mean, you have a nursery ready, right?" I grin at him. "Yes, I'll move into our house."

He exhales deeply and starts running his hand through his hair. A smile has yet to appear on his face and I start to get nervous.

"I- I just need some time." He breathes and starts walking toward my room.

"What?" He grabs his button up off the floor and puts it on, not bothering to ask me for his t-shirt.

"I need space." He says. "I need to think."

Not giving me even a second to respond, he heads for the door.

And I'm left alone, completely numb.

***
We're (I think) three chapters away from the end of Meghan and Isaiah's story! As sad as I am to see it so close to ending, I'm also getting pretty excited to jump into Cameron and Amelia's story! ;)

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