Nothing worse than this

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My head pounds as I slide down against the locked door,

On the other side I can hear things being smashed on the floor,

My only thought is of who might get hurt this time round,

I’m silently thinking of how much alcohol has been downed.

I can hear dogs barking from afar,

And the slow humming of a passing car.

The breeze hits my face like a cold, hard wall,

And I know there is nothing I can do, at all,

If someone gets hurt, my sister, my brother,

It will be my fault but at the hands of our mother.

I hate what I can’t do, what I’m not able to do, what I’m afraid to do,

Because sooner or later it will get way worse, this, I knew

I can’t help but run away,

Even though I know I should stay,

But if I stay I’m afraid of what usually happens,

I’m afraid what would be the consequence of my actions.

If I were to stand up to my parent,

These hidden bruises would no longer be transparent.

I don’t believe in God but I pray every day,

I pray for a miracle to take us away, to take it all away,

No one needs to shout, no one needs to scream,

No one needs to listen to this, it’s supposed to be for bad dreams.

A young child to grow up in a place like this,

Is about as safe a receiving a snake's poisonous kiss.

Kids like us need to be seen,

We need to be heard and we thrive to be clean.

The abuse we young ones suffer,

Each case different from the other,

They need to be looked into, looked after,

So in a few years, there’s chance you may hear their healed laughter,

You don’t see the dullness in their eyes,

Even when they're looking at the skies,

I see it, because I have felt,

And I feel it because I have dealt.

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