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"You put her through hell and she called it love."

🥀

I ended up going home right after, stowing enough time to say goodbye to him before making my way to the dreaded place I called home.

The feeling of eyes on my back washed over me once again, and I was starting to realize it must have been the overwhelming feeling of paranoia I would get on my way back to our place.

It just had to be how scared I was to come face to face with my own boyfriend.

I took a deep sigh when I reached the doorstep and slowly walked inside.

The air felt cold, and I could tell if there was any life in the house, it was dull. A sadness echoed throughout the walls, and I immediately wanted to go back to the homey feeling the apartment had.

I clutched on to my black sweatshirt sleeves, making sure the black shirt he had given me was not poking through anywhere. Jordan wouldn't notice anything about it, even if it was in plain view, but it was just to make sure.

"Jordan?" I asked, my voice echoing through the house.

I heard a faint groan coming from the couch, and a lump of a sleepy, probably hungover, body laying across it.

He poked his head out and he stared at me, his bottom eyelids rimmed with redness, the whites of his eyes were bloodshot.

"Where were you?" his voice was breathy, and he wobbled as he stood up from the couch.

I stayed still, my throat slowly moving as I swallowed hard.

"I was at the school library, then met up with Jacklyn after."

"Really?" he sniffed. "Jacklyn came by looking for you last night."

"Yeah," I cleared my throat nervously, "I met up with her right after that."

He eyed me suspiciously, then his body relaxed. I let out a small breath of relief, and my own shoulders dropped from release of tension.

"I've just been worried about where we stand," he said.

I looked around the house and noticed things were in disarray. I was only gone for a night and it looked like a frat party was held here.

Unless...

"How many people were here last night?" I gestured toward the kitchen where the counters were piled up with empty bottles and cans.

He looked at me with wild eyes and scoffed, "I'm trying to come up with an actual solution for us, and all you care about is that a couple of my friends were over."

A couple? It looked like a tornado of people came tumbling through. The house was a mess.

He expected me to just focus on this discussion, knowing the fact that he was out partying when I was out worrying, and I was in the wrong.

"Jordan, this is the problem. Right here. Your partying, your drinking. You turn into this totally different person."

"Listen, you need to just loosen up. We're college kids, we're supposed to have fun," he sent me a playful smirk, but I was too disgusted to find it attractive.

"You're also in a relationship. You're not just dealing with yourself here, you're dealing with my emotions too, and I can't keep having you play with them like they're nothing all the time."

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