Chapter XVIII

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Hatred and confusion


EVAN'S POV

The way Connor had announced my name pained me deeply. It sounded so hurt, so confused. It made me shudder. That was what made me and Zoe pull apart. I realised what had happened about one second later.

Connor probably hated me now.

Connor probably always hated me.

Of course I had to ruin my one good relationship with someone.

I'd be better off dead.

I hate myself.

THIRD POV

Connor had been enraged by the last five seconds of his life. He showed it with his clenched fists and his knuckles turning white, his red face, furrowed brows, his disappointed tone, and his way of saying nothing, which said everything: he was angry with Zoe, with Evan, with everything. He was ready to punch a hole in the wall. In fact, he only didn't do that because he knew how sensitive and fragile Evan was.

Evan was a beautiful glass figure, when his life was an opera singer. Evan, being the fragile glass, could shatter at any moment.

In an attempt to calm himself, Connor opened his hands and took one step forward. He breathed slowly, but rigidly. He was still tense, but he tried his best to control himself.

Evan was already scared. He didn't know what Connor might do, what Zoe might do, what anyone might do. His face turned a very visible shade of red and he began to sweat very lightly. His lip quivered the tiniest bit, and he was silent.

Connor's calmness didn't help.

"What were you doing with my sister, huh?" Connor asked monotonously. He was a powder keg about to explode. His anger issues and depression weren't great for situations like this. "Zoe what the hell were you thinking?"

Zoe sat on the carpet looking sorry, silent.

Evan tried to speak, but nobody could had. He let out a quiet squeak that was supposed to be an answer. He slurred his words together and I St gave up. He stood up, tears forming in his eyes.

That was when Cynthia Murphy entered Zoe's room.

Evan tried to exit fast before anyone could question him further. He was still confused on what had really happened.

"What is going on up here? Connor, honey, you were shouting at poor Evan and Zoe," Cynthia said, trying to fix it all.

Connor remained silent, as did Zoe. Evan, however, squeaked again.

"Evan, sweetie, are you okay? Do you want to go? I think you should go." Cynthia was immediately saddened by Evan's expression. She could tell that he was on the verge of tears, practically crying already.

Connor searched for something to say to let his mother keep Evan here. He wanted to try to fix this. Cynthia was more concerned about Eva's safety and feelings.

Cynthia noticed this from her son's body language and left the room, patting Evan's back as she left.

Connor was infuriated still, yet he had nothing to actually say. To anyone. He had erupted like a volcano. Word vomit.

"Zoe, you fucking ass, making out with my boyfriend behind my back! You're such a fucking idiot! And Evan," he hesitated, trying to refrain, "you- you betrayed my trust, kissing my own little sister! I bet that's why you wanted to study, huh? Study each other's lips? Ugh god! I'm-" Connor stopped again. He was tearing up too.

Zoe tried to say something, but Connor interrupted. "Stop! You know, I thought I loved you, Evan." He lied. He knew he loved Evan. He still did. "I just- AGH! I'm done. I can't anymore. Done!"

Evan and Zoe stared at the boy dressed in black. He glared before mentioning that he never wanted to see Eva again, for he had hurt him. "I don't show emotion very much Evan. I don't trust many people Evan. You took advantage. From this point on, I don't know you. If I never knew you, I never got hurt."

He stormed off into his own bedroom. Zoe looked towards the boy standing next to her. "Ev, I-"

"Stop. Zoe, just stop," Evan choked out. His mouth and hands trembled. He walked out of the room, out of the house, out of the yard. He couldn't believe Connor had yelled at him. He didn't know why he got so angry. He didn't even let Evan explain.

Evan went back home as quickly as he could.

[ One missed call from Jared ]

He turned his phone off, collapsed into his bed, and tried to erase his memory of Connor.

~~~

Shiiiittt all that drama. And overreacting. Toxic.

Anyway hiiii! How are y'all doing??

I'm just going to tell you that this story is coming slowly to an end. Not because I'm sick of it, just because I like the ending kind of.

I still have like five chapters for you in the future so stay tuned hehe <3

-Kayla

..But Not Because We're Gay - A Tree Bros Fanfic (Dear Evan Hansen)Read this story for FREE!