I Wish This Was Fiction(GirlxGirl)

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The nurses made me change out of my regular clothes and into scrubs. I had my legs pulled tightly to my chest and cried, shaking violently.

I knew why I wanted to die. 

I wasn't like everyone else. 

I was different. And it was a bad different.

"Miss Davis, is it mandatory for you to be committed?" 

"I- I don't know."

"If you aren't sure, then we can't take the chance and you can't go home tonight." The nurse told me.

Everyone here felt sympathy for me right now. Unlike most people here in the ER right now, I was in a complete glass room, not allowed to be alone.

I felt humiliated, but it was my fault.  

I didn't want to live anymore.  

I was gay. A lesbian.  

That wasn't right. I sighed, and wiped my face, trying to get rid of the tear stains.

"I'll be fine. I won't kill myself, or attempt."

"We still have to keep you here for a couple hours, just to watch." He told me.

"Okay." I nodded.

But I still hadn't stopped thinking about pulling the trigger, or downing the pills. It's not like my parents are going to want me if I'm gay anyways. All I am is a nasty disappointment.

My friends are completely religious, so I can't talk to them about advice.

I'm completely alone in this right now.

It just isn't fair. It's not like I asked for this!

See, and it isn't that I actually attempted...this time. I just refused to take my antidepressants, and my flipped shit on me.

Being gay isn't the only reason why I'm suicidal. It's just a big reason. I hate myself so much for not bein normal.

"Dana, can we get you anything?" a new nurse walked in.

"No thanks." I sighed. "Um, well...."

"What's wrong?"

"Where's the bathroom?" I asked.

The nurse walked over to the sink, and under it was an opening where a stool was. Well, it was a stool, until you flipped the lid up.

I didn't have to go anymore.

My mom walked back in the room and sat in a small chair. I started crying again, knowing I've disappointed her greatly.

I could smell the cigarette on her. Of course she cares about smoking more than me.

"Dammit Dana!" She snapped.

"What?" I shook. Draggin me here was her idea. It's her fault. So I wouldn't take my damn Zoloft this morning, it's not the end of the damn world.

"I had a client today." She said, frustrated.

Oh. Okay. So being a damn beautician is also more important. I get it. I get it completely. I also get why I should probably listen to the social worker and go with them.

Yes. There is a social worker here. Why? I don't know. Why there is also a cop, I still don't know.  

But I'm being watched from what seems like all angles.

"Dana, my phone is dead. Give me yours."

I sighed, then reached in my bag and handed her my phone. I careful not to draw attention to the plastic knife I had in there.

Before coming, mom made me clean everything dangerous out of my bag. I had already pulled three knives out, that I stole from the schools cafeteria. I was embarrassed, and didn't pull anymore out.

I was finally released a couple hours later, but wasn't to be left alone.

"Mom, I'm sorry." I cried in the car.

"Dana, please, I really don't want to hear it."

"God, you're a bitch." I mumbled under my breath.

"What was that?"

"I didn't do anything! I came downstairs and you told me to take my medicine, i refused, so you tried getting me in the hospital. It was six in the morning, I didn't want to take a damn pill!"

Mom sighed, then did something she rarely ever does. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever." I wasn't use to Mom apologizing.

"Dana, I love you, and I just don't want to lose you."

"Thanks." Really, that was all I could say...

*~*

I stayed lying on the couch the rest of the day.  I was dreading the moment Dad came home, but at six at night. I had to face him.

Mom pulled Dad into the kitchen, but I could still hear every word.

"So Dana pulled a dumb stunt today. I had to take her to the hospital."

"What? What the hell did she do?"

"She was threatening suicide."

What the fuck! That's bullshit! I wanted to jump up and punch her in the fucking temple.

Then Dad had to talk to me...

"Dana what the hell?" He yelled. "You are so fucking selfish! What the fuck are you thinking?"

I started crying from anger and frustration. "Mom lied. She fucking lied!"

"Watch your mouth!" Mom yelled.

"All I did was ignore my Zoloft today. So  fucking what? I didn't hold a gun to my head or anything. So calm down. I'm fine!"

"Dana, what makes you like this?" Dad calmed down a little.

Now isn't the time to tell them. I want to, but it just isn't the time.

"Um..."

"You can tell us. You know that, right?" Mom was also relaxed.

"I'm just having a bad day. Sorry." I mumbled. Or you know, I'm just horrified you'll kick me out after hitting me once I tell you I'm a failure for a daughter...

____*____

*Alright. SO this is a weird story, but it's based on me. I may add something or take out something, but it won't be dramatic. There will be depression and also romance in this story, it'll just come a little later. Thank you for reading, Loves(:

*And I really want to thank MystieMcGothic for the cover, as well as supporting me to write this. I love you, Girl <3

*And don't worry, it SHOULD get better :P

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