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I felt like shit.

And it wasn't the hangover that was making me feel sick. Steph had left before I could say goodbye to her or my aunt and uncle. My dad had to go to work, and my mom had somewhere to be, so she dropped me off at the airport, unable to walk me in. The idea of heading back to Toronto right away had been so tempting, and yet now that I was already going back home, I was devastated. 

Auston still hadn't texted me, and he wasn't coming home until Saturday in time for the next home game.

All my happiness from Florida was withering away, and one of my periods of depression was setting in. 

I felt alone as I came home to an empty apartment. 

The silence was eerie, and I knew that I was going to be struggling for the next couple days. 

I unpacked my bag, and started my laundry. I cleaned up my messy room and bathroom to keep myself occupied, but eventually I ran out of things to do. I changed into my favorite pair of baggy sweatpants, and one of my old shirts, and climbed into bed.

It had been almost 48 hours since I had texted Auston, and I had yet to hear anything back from him. I didn't want to be a needy girlfriend, so I didn't text him or call him. 

My anxiety started creeping in, and my thoughts ran wild. 

What if he only asked me to be his girlfriend so he could finally sleep with me? What if I had played right into his plan, and he just wanted to prove that he could conquer the girl who didn't fall for his charm the first time. Panic was setting in, and I began to hyperventilate. My whole body shook as I went into my bathroom to get my inhaler.

Why was I letting myself get worked up? All I had to do was call him?

But I couldn't give him the satisfaction.

I wouldn't. 


 finyourface : Throwback to Florida to find my focus

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 finyourface : Throwback to Florida to find my focus. #yogaismylife #peaceandcalm #homesick

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"I'm glad you called me. I've been so bored without these games, and I've really missed you." Katie said, as we walked through the mall.

"I don't know why we haven't done this sooner." I said, not wanting to reveal the real reason I was trying to stay busy ahead of the game tonight.

Where Do We Go From Here? [A.Matthews]Read this story for FREE!