Worrys

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It’s strange how things can change in an instant. I went from lonely and depressed in a place of deep isolation to what seems almost like heaven. Everything was perfect- well for now. The boys had eaten all the food in a couple of minutes which seems impossible considering how much there was and Kim had come out of her shell. Billy had just finished telling the stories of the tribe. It was magical as the fire danced along with his words. Kim was staring at the fire amazed I had to wonder does she know that all these myths are actually real.

The sun was being to fall but everyone was still in high spirits. I hadn’t spoke to Jake about the council meeting yet, he was to busy reconnecting to the pack but I didn’t feel left out - poor Kim was getting tortured by Paul so I spent my time annoying him back. Although Paul can be a real pain with the worst temper I was actually starting to like him though he had a really dirty sense of humour that could make anyone cringe.

Even though I wasn’t actually talking to Jacob I could feel him close and that was enough to give me reassurance. I could see him staring at me sometimes but I pretended I never knew I liked how he kept an eye on me.

Emily was collecting the trays and putting them back into the car the bonfire wasn’t over yet, she had told me she just wanted to get everything cleared up so it didn’t have to be done later and after that said I had to sit down. Which I did. First I had talked to Kim- then Jared had stolen her from me and she was now sleeping on his chest. So now I have taken to staring at the fires dancing flames.

The orange and red contrasted together making a beautiful light in the nights darkness. The flames glow lit up the logs were everyone sat. I could see the figure of Emily fluttering between table and car carrying the trays with Sam helping out occasionally kissing her head or she would stroke his arm only little gestures but the love glowed out of them as strong as the fire. The light gleamed of Kims sleeping form and sparkled in Jared’s eyes as he talking to Embry. Then my eyes lay upon Paul and Jacob. Obviously since Paul had no Kim to embarrass he went to tormenting Jacob.

I watched Jacobs face. Watched the muscles in his jaw move with each word he spoke, watched the glint in his eyes as the flames flickered but I also saw how his shoulders were straight, to straight, his eyes never stayed in one place always flashed around, taking in everything. His fist would clench and unclench. I wasn’t sure if this was the reaction of Pauls words or if Jacob just had a lot on his mind. I never did know how the pack meeting had gone and I wasn’t sure I wanted to but one thing was for sure that everything wasn’t great. Life wasn’t perfect because behind the closed door there were a lot of problems.

When Jacobs’s eyes flicked to mine I went back to staring at the fire. Even in that one second I could see all the pain and worry deep below. It was probably something nobody else noticed but I did. I decided to call my dad to tell him I would be out late. As I stood and walked over to the cliffs edge I could feel Jacobs eyes burn into my back.

The phone hadn’t rang for long when Charlie answered. His voice was gruff with sleep.

“I’m sorry if I woke you dad I just wanted to tell you I would be out late” I kept my voice calm I didn’t know why my night was going wrong nothing had happened I just realised there was a lot to go threw.

“It’s alright Bells I had just fallen asleep on the couch, probably a good thing you woke me” he laughed and I could hear the couch squeaking as he moved “are you with Jake? At the rez?”

“Yeah dad. I’m here with Jake and the other boys”

“That’s alright. As long as you’re with them I know you will be safe”

“Good night dad” I smiled its good to know someone trusted me.

“Night bells” and then he hung up.

Putting my phone back into my pocket I stared out at the waves. Closing my eyes I listened to their continuous crashing and the breeze wheezing threw the trees. The cold brush of wind made me shiver and I pulled my coat tighter.

“All you all right” I jumped out of my state of peace and turned to stare at the intruder.

“Are you?” He made no move to come closer to me.

“I’m fine”

“I know you’re lying Jacob so why bother”

“okay” he ran his hands threw his hair and stared at me almost desperately “ I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Sam doesn’t trust me; I can’t even look at him the same way anymore.” He began to pace “My own dad keeps giving me looks. I think he thinks I’m going to turn and run. My best friend is guarded around me. I’m not even a part of the pack anymore and at the meeting they were debating whether I should be allowed at the bonfire!”

I had nothing to say. I could feel how guilty he was for attacking Sam, how hurt he was that no one trusted him anymore. It was all a bundle of stress and it leaked out his eyes. With nothing to say the only thing I could do was open my arms and he ran into them engulfing me in hug that warmed my heart and body. His head rested on my neck and his arms around my waist.

“The worst thing that could happen to me is to lose you” the sincerity rang out in his words. I stared into his eyes and ran my fingers threw his hair. His eyes closed as he pulled me closer.

“Don’t worry” I kissed his check “I’m here and we will get threw this”

Yea I know im so bad for not uploading but I quite enjoyed doing this chapter so I think I will upload more over the summer.   

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