Part 1

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No ones POV

The Cuban boy pulled his shaking knees closer to him chest, erratic breathing making his vision out of focus as he struggled to breath. They hate you. You don't deserve to live. The voices clawed at his mind and he let out a choked sob, covering his mouth with his hand to muffle the sound. He didn't want to wake anyone up, he didn't need to be any more of a burden then he already was.

His hand cluched the small blade harshly with shaking fingers and raised it to his wrist, applying pressure until he felt a satisfying sting and a cool sensation of blood dripping.

Lance could hardly see what he was doing through all the tears and continued until the castle alarm startled him and he jumped, accidentally slicing his wrist deeper than intended. Blood rushed out and he stood up franticly, cleaning it off in a hurry and wrapping it in a bandage.

Why am I such a failure? The question bounced around in his head as he got changed, aware that he was going to be a few minutes late.

He looked in the mirror and almost cried again, failure. Using makeup to cover up his heavy bags he'd gotten from little to no sleep before rushing out the door, hoping his eyes weren't puffy from crying all night.

It took most of his energy to walk down the corridor, forcing the usual grin onto his face as he stepped in to the room, conversation stopping as everyone turned to him. They looked anannoyed.

"Lance would you please try to be on time!" The princess groaned, glaring at him like he was an abomination. Maybe he was, his 'father' at home thought so as well.

His smile didn't waver, remaining cocky as he spoke an excuse about beauty sleep. How backwards that really was.

"Well next time maybe you shouldn't, then you'd be less of a failure." There it was again, that word. Lance's heart almost broke right there, of course Keith had to be the one to say it.

Lance had feelings for the boy, feelings he knew would be rejected instantly. He wouldn't blame Keith for hating him though, after all, he hated himself too.

"You're just jealous of how awesome I am." He said with a scoff, hoping his dull eyes weren't giving him away. No one was really paying attention to him though so they didn't see the way he frowned, the way his blue eyes glazed over with hurt before he could compose himself. Even if they did see, he doubted they would care at all.

His hands trembed slightly from his pockets, feeling like he was going to burst into tears at any moment. He wouldn't however. He didn't need them thinking he was a crybaby.

Weak

Useless

Failure

"Lance! Are you even listening." Allura snapped at him, disappointment dripping off her toung like venom.

"S-sorry Allura, it won't happen again." None of them cared to notice the stutter, the broken look in his pretend smile. They just judged him, like his father did.

"It better not, we don't need you screwing up this mission." Keith added. Lance felt a part of him die inside but he simply nodded, refusing to let his damn break. Refusing to let them see just how broken he really was.

They explained the mission and Lance listened, realising a fault in the plan. "Hey guy's maybe we shoul-" he was cut off when Shiro waved him off with a hand. "Now now Lance, we're trying to actually do something." Lance swallowed and nodded meekly, keeping his mouth glued shut for the rest of the time.

Once dinner rolled around Lance smiled and laughed, cracking jokes while everyone groaned. It was all fake of course but they didn't need to know that. He ate his food and left with a smile that vanished the moment he was out of sight, Walls crumbling as he entered his room and collapsed to the floor, once again sobbing as quietly as he could.

After about two hours his tired body felt like it was going to collapse but his mind wouldn't let him sleep, insecurities gnawing at his mind until he finally left his room to take a stroll.

There was a light shinning from the kitchin and he walked in to see Hunk, baking. "Hunk?" His friend swung round at the noise and waved. "Oh, hey Lance. Did you want something?" Lance shook his head and put his hands onto his hips. "Why are you up so late?" Hunk took a moment to register what Lance had said and once he did he looked over at the clock, gasping.

"I hadn't realised it was so late, thanks Lance. I'll be going to bed now." Lance smiled and said goodnight to him before continuing his stroll, coming across Pidge's room and pausing outside it. The lights were on.

Lance sighed and shook his head before walking in to see Pidge on her computer, a regular occurrence. "Alright Pidge, it's time for bed." She bearly gave him a glance as she continued typing away, grouchy due to lack of sleep. "Leave me alone Lance, just because you can't do anything doesn't mean that others don't have stuff to do."

Lance felt his smile drop as insecurities snook up on him, she was right. Idiot. The word bounced in his head but he ignored it, he wasn't important. Stop complaining.

"That's it!" He picked up the smaller in his arm and pushed the laptop down, turning it off. "You're going to bed whether you want to or not." She thrashed in his grasp and Lance felt his cuts open again at the movement. He was defiantly going to have to bandage them again once he got to his room.

He plopped her down and covered her in blankets with a stern look. "Go to sleep Pidge." She huffed but the soft cosy blankets made her sluggish and she was asleep before Lance had even let the room, looking at her with a small smile. "Night." 

He turned the lights off on the way out and began walking some more, planning on going to the control room. You could see the stars when you looked up in there and Lance loved it, he felt closer to home in there.

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