the fault in the stars

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I've been losing my mind these past few days, my grandma died of Cancer so my family is at risk to get Cancer. we listened to my Brothers eulogy was my turn.

I walked up to the podium and looked at everyone's teared up face then at the sad expressions on the groups face.

"My name is Brooke.

my grandma was my best friend that would always listen to me sing or play the piano with me when I was little, and I won’t be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears.

everyone laughed and wiped the tears as I did as well.

The special thing about my grandma was that she could always put a smile on my face if I was in need of one.

I will not tell you our jokes, because-like all inside jokes- they will die with us, as they should.

I’d hoped that she could see me grow up and have kids, because she always talked about me having kids…

I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million.

Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.

A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers for Anne. more than she got. But, grandma, my best friend, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for her. I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

You gave me much unconditional love within your numbered days, and I’m grateful.”

I had everyone in tears but I just wasn't done yet. I walked over to the casket and put my hand on her cold stiff hand and that's when the tears came out. "Wake up grandma... please." nothing happened so I turned away and darted straight into the bathroom and locked the door and fell against it. "Brooke?" my mom asked through the door.

"go away!" she tried to unlock the door but it wasn't working.

"Brooke come on out!"

"No mom just go away, I don't need you anymore!" there was an awkward silence then I opened the door and stepped out.

"sorry, I do need you but you just need to give me space. I walked out of the church and we got into the caravan cars so we could head to the cemetery. we got to the cemetery and sat down in the chairs. I could see my mom talking well kind of crying to someone.

"Mom, are you okay?" I asked as I walked up with Justin, Chaz, Ryan Callie, Alfredo, Kenny and Scooter. her eyes got big as my dad got out of the car with Sammy. "SAMMY! COME HERE OLD BOY!" he walked over and I gave him a hug.

"SAMMY!?" The man said quietly. Sammy actually ran over to him and sat at his feet. "He's my dog, I've had him since I was a little girl..." I told the man.

Sammy looked at me in pain and I tried to hide the tears but a few slipped out. I looked at the mans wrist and noticed the same tattoo I have its the revenge symbol.

"Cool tattoo, I have the same one." I lifted my right sleeve and showed him my right wrist. "I got it for my dad, I'm in the process of clearing his name and getting revenge on the Grayson's. the man smiled and looked at my mom. "You remind me so much of my dad, its not even funny!" I said wiping the tears that rolled down my cheeks. "Amanda, your dad was a great man...."

"Don't you dare speak about my father like you knew him! and secondly How do you know my name?! you don't even know me and I had it changed when I came to live with my mom!"  I snapped at him and turned around and started to walk away.

"You know me more than you think!" I turned around and he took off his hood.

"Dad?" he nodded and I ran over and hugged him. "Oh my god I thought you were dead!" we both cried for a minute then we pulled away. "the service is over...can he come over mom?"

"yeah, that's fine with me." she smiled and walked over to my aunt Christine.

"Brooke...Brooke!" Everyone yelled as they ran into the back yard.

I looked up from my phone and they all sat around. "Good news!" Pattie said cheerily. "NOT good news!" Justin growled and she gave him a cold look. she handed me a piece of paper and my whole life changed

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