The House Guest (Unedited)

Chapter 10: Love and friendship

The sky is blanketed by ominous grey clouds, plumes of rain threatening to spill down at any moment. Until it does. Teems of silvery water flood the fields, steadily flowing into the parched earth until the farmers must cease their daily work, and maids drying laundry outside rush indoors hastily. Thunder grips the bowl of morning sky, making Kitty shriek out of a mixture of fear and excitement.

"Must we go to Church?" Kitty pleads with her mother as Lady Caroline places a stout, feathered hat upon her head. I fashion a plain muslin, as I regard Susanna adamantly refuse to sport anything other than her rose taffeta gown.

"Yes, Kitty, now hush." Lady Caroline fumes, her cheeks red and ruddy despite her best efforts to mask her blemished skin with white powder.

Lady Caroline, Lady Dorothea, William, Susanna, Mr. Aldridge and Kitty climb into the larger, grander carriage, pulled by horses of fine breeding: a barouche, while Henry steps into the second one, a smaller, quainter chaise, apparently eager to avoid his family.

"Miss, are you going to be stepping in?" An older servant driving the chaise inquires, his hands clutching the reins.

I could walk, I think, desperate to avoid the situation of riding in an isolated carriage with Henry at all costs, but I don't know where the Church is, and it would be unheard of for a young lady to roam the fields unaccompanied. I hesitate, then reluctantly take the hand of the servant, stepping into the chaise and praying for the strength to face Henry.

Henry appears much more polished than he was at the picnic, his skin emanating a healthy glow and his eyes bright. He buttons his cravat as I enter, and awkwardly shifts his eyes towards me -- a question begging to escape his lips. He seems to ignore his desire to ask it, and instead, to my surprise, he greets me with a cordial hello.

"Good day, Miss Lovell," he grunts, perhaps unused to speaking my family name.

"Hello, Henry - I mean - Mr. Caldwell," I cringe at my mistake. Henry visibly brightens, and his hands rest on his knees.

"Miss Lovell - no - Helene, I apologize, I absolutely despise calling you Miss Lovell - it sounds so cold. Anyway, I have a request to make. First, I want to apologize for my rudeness the past few days, and beg that you would give me another chance?"

"Another chance?" I laugh, bemused, "at what?"

"Our - our friendship," he says, his eyes burning into mine with strange intensity. Against my sheer will, my heart begins to beat faster within my chest, and I place a hand to my cheek, hoping I don't blush.  "I know what I did was severely flawed, but I miss having a companion to confide in, and especially when my family is so turned against me, I would appreciate it greatly. You've always been, most -- amiable, and I want to remain your friend, if you'll let me," he inhales deeply following his clearly rehearsed speech, then shifts his attention towards me, awaiting my response.

What do I say, to the man who singlehandedly broke my heart? Who stormed away all those years ago, leaving me terribly wounded and wondering what was wrong with me? When I first stayed with Lady Dorothea and Susanna, I was mourning the loss of my parents, and Henry was a beacon of hope for me in the cruel darkness. The only way I ignored Susanna's insults and Lady Dorothea's merciless scolding was because I believed that Henry cared for me. I believe in forgiveness, but to preach it is far easier than to practice it.

"I suppose we could be friends," I agree decidedly, "I appreciate your apology. And I know you were a boy then, so I cannot expect you to answer for all your actions back then."

Henry gently locks eyes with me, his as blue as the ocean, the same eyes I fell in love with all those years ago.

"Good," he says, quietly. 

Suddenly, I realize how close we are, my smooth visage only inches from his handsome face. Knowing how ridiculous I am, I want to kiss him as one kisses her suitor in a romance novel, though to do so would be the most improper thing imaginable, him the son of a Lord, and me, the daughter of a poor, bankrupt scholar. Helene Lovell, a quiet girl with no prospects, and Henry, a dashing, wealthy nobleman with as many as he wishes. And how quickly have I forgotten the hurt he inflicted upon me?

He kisses me.

Tis the slightest, smallest kiss, with his rough lips brushing gently against my soft ones, like an afterthought, and me, frozen, against my better judgement. He backs away slightly, his head tilted, trying to fathom my reaction. I reach for his hand, holding it in mine and intertwining our fingers. Then, I realize my place and jolt backwards, pushing him away with my palm digging into his chest.

"How dare you, sir?" I breathe, completely appalled. He had the gall to kiss me? After apologizing for playing with my feelings and requesting another chance at friendship?

"You held my hand," Henry says, his eyes wide with shock, "And you didn't pull away immediately."

"I was surprised! Your mother was right about you," I yell angrily, "you are a philanderer! You had the nerve to kiss me, whilst jeopardizing both our friendship and my already unstable reputation."

A wave of confusion washes across Henry's features. "So, do you care more about your reputation than your heart?"

"Henry. Even if I did care about you in that way, you know that it is improper for an unmarried man and woman to kiss. If anyone saw, they would ruin me. If you truly cared about me, then you would have respected that. Or perhaps, you wanted to take advantage of me? Because I'm some unsuspecting, poor girl without any prospects and nobody to vouch for me?"

"That's not fair, Helene. Stop screaming at me. I apologized, didn't I? And I asked for a second chance, and you said yes!" Henry pinches the bridge of his nose, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

"You asked for our friendship back, not some -- some romantic scandal! Why can't you return to the way you were while you were a child, innocent and free?"

"Helene, stop thinking of yourself as a poor, penniless orphan! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Isn't it possible that I care for you past your rank?" Henry stares at me, his eyes wide and pleading. Clutching my chest, worried that tears will fall down my cheeks, I practically collapse out of the chaise and rush away.

~~~