Paint Me A Rainbow (JJ Project)

Blue

The winter had passed and the spring has come
We have withered and our hearts are bruised from longing

(I'm singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(I'm singing my blues)
The love that I have sent away with the floating clouds oh oh

Under the same sky, at different places
Because you and I are dangerous
I am leaving you, one letter difference from 'nim'
It's cowardly but I'm hiding because I'm not good enough
Cruel breakup is like the end of the road of love
No words can comfort me
Perhaps my lifetime's last melodrama
Now its final curtain is coming down

I was born and I met you and I have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even with my eyes closed, I can't feel you

The winter had passed... *click*

"Hey, why do you turn it off?" Wonpil yelled at Jinyoung. They were at Wonpil's room, the owner on the desk studying for his upcoming exam and Jinyoung on the bed reading a novel he didn't move a page from since hours ago. His mind was too occupied to get absorbed into the story like he had always been before.

"I hate it. It feels like they're mocking me."

That was right. Park Jinyoung was a coward. That day, after the doctor diagnosed Jaebum with a fractured arm and moderate traumatic brain injury, he spent hours of agonizing wait in front of the surgery room. He clenched his hands as hard as his prayer for Jaebum, until the nails that dug into his skin managed to penetrate it and dark blood trickled down to join Jaebum's own that had dried. Fortunately, his prayer was answered. The surgery was successful and soon enough the injured man passed his critical phase.

After he made sure that Jaebum would live, without even waiting for the patient to regain his consciousness he left him in Jackson's care, whom he had called before the surgery, and went home. He knew he had lost the right to stay with him after what he did. He packed his things, at least every important things he could bring with him like clothes and books. He knew Jaebum's parent would come, and he needed to be gone before then. He didn't have the guts to face them, looking at their resentment when they knew he was the reason their precious son almost died. He couldn't handle that. Since then, he had been occupying the long sofa at Wonpil's apartment.

"Why don't you just go back?" Wonpil asked, sighing. He had already known everything, Jinyoung told him right away after his sudden appearance with his belongings. Being a soft hearted man he was, he cried together with Jinyoung while hugging him tightly that day. Jinyoung finally closed the book in his hands, giving up on trying to read. He stared at the white ceiling over him.

"No. This incident must've opened his eyes that I'm not that angel he had imagined of his first love, I'm just a horrible monster. He must've hated me now. He would never forgive me, and even if he does, I don't deserve it. I don't have the right to see him anymore."

"Or maybe you should've stay with him and do whatever you can to pay for your mistake until you deserve it. I know you're just scared, Jinyoung. Scared of him pushing you away. But what if you're wrong? It's not that easy to completely turn love into hate, you know."

"He doesn't even actually love me, Wonpil," Jinyoung sighed. Everytime he admitted that hammered a new nail on his heart and it hurt.

"Again, it's just your assumption. What if he sincerely loves the you now? You're just hurting both Jaebum and yourself for nothing."

Jinyoung was more than relieved to escape from this topic when his phone was ringing right at that moment. He took his phone and Jackson's face filled the screen. He swiped the green button and brought the phone over his ear.