Part 9

1.2K 18 3

I stop and think of everything he's done then it hits me . I fall on my knees infront of him .

" It's my fault you feel this way . It's all my fault that you wanted to take your life . Everything is my fault it shouldn't be you cutting it should be me . At least nobody would care and cry for me because my parents are waiting for me whenever i want to leave . " I'm full on sobbing .

"All the pain I've caused you I admit it is my fault . I know you will never forgive me but it's all my fault ." I cry .

"Ever since I saw you that first time . I knew I was going to fall for you . I was certain that I was yours . There's certain things that I adore and one of them was you ." I cry .

"I adore you Ethan , I adore you , I adore you baby ." My face was full of tears .

"But it's not going to work cause I hurt you. I put you through pain . If it means that you'll be happy with someone else who makes you happy then so be it . I will go through pain for the rest of my life just to make you happy." I face down .

I grab my keys and walk out without saying anything to Grayson or Ethan . I begin to drive to a spot to clear my mind ,I feel choked up . I just wanted him to be happy but now he will be without me . I don't want to put him through more pain.

I get to the spot i lean back on a tree and just stare at the glare of the moon on the water .i just want to clear my mind forget everything for a moment. Cause all the pain is coming back later and is here to stay .

6hours later

I've been out here for about 6 hours . It's literally 3am and I haven't gone back home . I can't anyway.  I'll just sleep in the car tonight and drive to school in the morning . But for tonight I just want to relax . I want to have a quick break before I go through hell and back .
He doesn't care about me anyway he would've stopped me and told me to stay but he didn't.
Instead he let me leave like I wanted him to now it's going to be a happy journey for him . Even though I'll cry I know he's going to be happy with someone else . It will hurt me the most when he has someone else but she's going to be his happiness. Not me the girl who talks to her parents whenever she's feeling down when they're dead . I'm just a crazy girl without parents. And it hurts having nobody to talk to like my mom and dad used to talk to me  or having someone to understand you .  I'll just move back to my home town here in jersey and go back to school there. At least there I'll feel a little less pain . And thats what I'm doing tomorrow I'm packing my clothes and move back home since I have my old stuff at my old house . I can't believe my dad actually bought these two houses. 

Next morning

I didn't sleep at all last night my thoughts kept me up . It wasn't the best feeling . Now I'm driving home getting ready to leave this not so great town  it has done nothing but bring pain to me . I get out of my car luckily nobody was home . I went to the garage and got a suit case . I went up to my room only to find my clothes thrown everywhere I just picked it up and threw it in my suitcase. I have now packed all of my clothes now I just have to drive to my home town but before I had to unenroll myself out of vista high . I did it quickly before anyone saw me . I now being an adventure of pure pain .

I get to my home town which is 4 hours from my old town . I go to my old high school and enroll my self back in . The bad thing is that I still have to go back to school at vista one last day or else they won't let me go to my other school . I took one out fit and drove back . I got back home now the time was 5pm . I got in the shower then lights out .

Unloved boy e.d.  Where stories live. Discover now