little omega

ch 33

*rains pov*

Still on these damn sticks. I hate them. I hobble along to my car. Driving myself home from the hospital, I'm craving James right now.

I want to be engulfed in his hugs to comfort me.. I have been going to the hospital on a regular basis.  Ever since that dreadful night.

Flashback
I woke up throwing up.  Warmth between my legs. Terrified I try calling James.  My voice seems to have disappeared.  My stomach hurting so bad. Twisting.  I try get up. Falling out of bed I land with a thud. Creating another wail of agony to emerge from me. My body doesn't feel like it did a week ago. It doesn't feel as if it's cushioning my puppies anymore.  It feels like it's trying to kill them. Throw them out.. leave me barron and childless. James runs in looks at where I was lying in horror. The bed covered in blood. He then looks at me . Picks me up and carries me to the doctors.  Trying to assure me that everything will be alright.  I watch the streetlights zoom past us until we get to the doctors. My vision blackening.  "Stay awake baby girl.  Do it for daddy." .. I tried so hard to stay awake. But soon after seeing the white of hospital walls and blue of doctors uniforms my eyesight disappears and all I see is black. I hear frantic voices around me. The clearest thing I hear though. Is from my usual doctor.  It still rings through my head. How could he be so cruel.

It's her... or the babies. We can't save them both. You have to choose. You have 10 minutes.

How could he ask that from my mate. Why can't he save all of us. Or at least try. My stomach cramps horribly and I let out a scream of pain.

"HER!GOD DAMMIT! SAVE HER! SHE'S MY MATE. I CAN'T LOOSE HER!" James voice comes out strained and broken. Tears trapped in his throat.

I feel the doctor cut my stomach.  Removing my poor pups.. both apparently effected by the xray we had to take on my hip. Both unborn pups.. tiny.. pale as snow.

The pain I felt after that was agonising.  I seemed to have lost my smile. I felt as if a piece of me was missing.

I survived. But I'm never going to be able to have my own pups again.. they tied my tubes for safety measures.  Everything to protect the lunar and alpha.. even if it's at there own happiness's expense.

I've been going to therapy ever since then. It never seems to work though. Driving home I just need James.

I get home and there he is. Arms wide open waiting for me. Climbing out the car I engulf him in the biggest hug ever. He helps me carry my stuff from the car and covers my fave in kisses making silly faces.

And For the first time in months. I actually smiled.