Pleasure in Pain [Student/Teacher]

Chapter 14

IF YOU CANT READ CHAPTER 13 EVEN AFTER FOLLOWING ME I RE-POSTED IT. SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION!

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I know it's been a long time since I've updated, and I am really sorry. My life has been hectic and I really couldn't find the strength to write. I'm sorry if this is a little rusty.

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As I walked to Jason's house I ran through so many conversations in my head. I had no idea how to open up. It was such a foreign concept to me. I couldn't help thinking about the cons of it. What if he thought I was childish and told me my problems didn't matter? What if he laughed? Or worse, didn't care at all? My head was racing and all I wanted to do was turn around and go back home, but before I knew it I was standing on his front porch and knocking on the door. Hurried footsteps could be heard from inside, and the door swung open to reveal a very worried man.

He didn't say anything, just grabbed my hand softly and led me inside. The house smelled of chocolate brownies, making me a little excited to be there. Chocolate was my weakness. But instead of going to the kitchen, I was brought straight to the couch, and made to sit down in my usual spot on the side. When he sat down next to me, his eyes scanned over any uncovered skin, as if to make sure I hadn't done anything before I arrived. To reassure him, I put my hand on his lap and smiled.

His gaze met mine again and he smiled back. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my lap. I was feeling terrible, but how could I express that? I was never good with words. I think he understood that, because he didn't push. "Can you tell me where you want to hurt yourself?"

The question was very unusual. I was actually kind of shocked. "What?" I asked, wondering if I might have heard him wrong.

"If you hadn't texted me and come here, where would you have hurt yourself?" He asked again, not easing my confusion.

I didn't know how to feel or what to say, but I decided to just work with him. "Probably my arm." I told him.

It felt really weird to say that. Usually when my parents went off on me, I would go straight to my arm because it gave me the most satisfaction. I never understood why, but again I never questioned it. I wanted to take my words back. I felt ashamed to admit that I wanted to hurt myself. It made me feel smaller than I usually felt. I wanted to shrink away into the couch and form some sort of magical bubble around me so no one could get in.

It seemed like minutes passed before he grabbed my left arm and rolled up my sleeve. I watched intensely as his index finger traced along my scars, but not in a judgmental way. It was as if he was trying to find the source of the pain for each one. It somehow made me feel safe. I didn't understand his full intentions when he lifted my arm and started planting little kisses against it. His lips made my insides go crazy, but this time they made me feel warm. And not the kind of warm I felt down there, but the type that made me want to run around a field while a giant thunderstorm was going on. My type of happiness.

I didn't say anything as he continued to kiss every inch of my forearm. I couldn't say anything when he stopped, I was speechless. When Jason's fingers intertwined with mine and he looked up, my heart beat a little bit faster. "Kisses are better healers." He told me. "They linger where you bury them until you feel better, reminding you that right now, your arm is protected."

I was so shocked by his words that I wanted to cry. It was the sweetest thing I had ever head and if I died with those words in my head I would be content. "Jason I-"

"Shh, come with me." He cut me off, then lifted me up off the couch and pulled me towards the kitchen.

Right as I walked in I remembered the smell. My lips curved up and I found myself staring right at a fresh batch of brownies; my type of comfort food. "Are they ready?" I eagerly asked, almost bouncing in place.

He laughed and nodded his head, pulling out a brownie cutter from his drawer and cutting me a corner piece. I quickly took a bite before he could even cut himself one. "Mmmm this is so good." I exclaimed.

Several minutes later we were planted on the couch watching a random romantic comedy that was playing on TV. The pan of brownies was sitting on the table in front of us, half gone. I could barely focus on the TV because my mind was going along to the rhythm of his fingers that were running through my hair. It made my bad thoughts slowly leave my mind. I couldn't imagine there was any therapy better than this. The urge to hurt myself was quickly diminishing, and I couldn't be more grateful for him.

"Wanna know something?" I asked.

"Sure." He replied.

Our eyes were still fixed on the TV. "I'm really lucky to have met you."

I could see him smile through the corner of my eye and look over to me, then place a kiss on my cheek. "I'm really lucky to have met you as well." He told me.

We sat like that for a while, just enjoying each other's company. I wished it could be like this all the time, but I knew I would have to head home tonight. My paren'ts were going to let me off that easy, there was no doubt they would at some point check my room to make sure I was still in there. I looked over to him sadly, and he caught my expression quickly and shifted his body to face mine. "What's wrong, Lillian?" He asked.

"I'm just not looking forward to going home. I know I have to tonight, but I'd much rather spend time with you." I explained, hoping to ease some of his worry.

He nodded and sighed. "I wish you could stay longer, but it is a school night, and I also don't want you getting into more trouble. Everything will be okay, alright? I'm here, even if I'm not with you physically. You can call me no matter what time of day it is, okay?" He told me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him.

I smiled and nodded. "Okay. But just one more thing before I go."

"Yeah?"

I leaned up and pressed my lips to his, keeping them there for a few seconds, before leaning back. "Thank you for being wonderful."

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I know it's a short chapter but at least I got it up! Also, yes this is also a very vanilla chapter but it needed to be done. I now have a new laptop and will be updating more. Again I am really sorry for the wait!!! I hope you enjoyed :)