↪You've Perplexed Me

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Let me start with an apology: Sorry, not sorry.

I tried to understand why I was acting this way with you.

I tried to think of one single reason.

But I just can't understand. I just don't understand.  

My deeds look like the shenanigans of a psycho to me.

I try to change me, but I can't.

Why is it that you, of all people, caught me with my guard down

When I have trumped catastrophes in my life?

Depression, spirals. Hallucinations, Psychosis.

Name it, I got it. But you? 


Like the must of an old tome lingering in the air,

This question remains: Why you?

I just don't understand. Was it your crude, honey eyes

Or that sexy jawline that made me fall

Like a moth into your dark flame? Like an old hag

Drunk in despair, toppling into the pool

I fell into you and lost myself. I just can't understand how

You resurrect the butterflies in my stomach,

Even though you've been a lyin-azz, a cheatin-azz.

And I sure as hell can't fathom why, that day in the corridor,

 You pulled me from my own delirium, like a savior, like a true love.

How did you rid the darkness behind my eyes

That none could succeed to eliminate,

Bring the bright of the Sun to my days and leave me hanging here?

And now with another girl you lay, but I just can't understand

I just don't understand.

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