i loved, and i loved and i lost you.
Mike couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. It just- it couldn't be true. He was aware he was crying, and he could see blurry shapes moving around him. Someone had their arm around him, but all he could see was her. His mind was zeroing in on her face, hot tears pouring down his own. It was Hopper's voice that snapped him out of his trance. He looked up to see Hopper's tear soaked face as he turned around from crouching by a nearby couch. "You gotta come say goodbye kid" he croaked out, his voice breaking as he began to sob again.
Mike's legs carried him over to the couch. He wasn't really aware he was doing it. He looked down at her, the most beautiful girl in the whole world. Her eyes were open a crack and her chest was barely moving, her breaths shaky and inconsistent. This isn't how it was supposed to go, Mike thought as he grabbed her hand and stroked her hair. She was supposed to close it and come back. Today was supposed to be the first day of the rest of our lives. Instead here he was, kneeling by the love of his life as she left. "El" he started, gazing into her hazel eyes. She knew she was dying. She squeezed his hands. "I want you to know that- that you'll never be gone. Not to me. I promise you'll stay with me forever. In here" he exclaimed as he pointed to his heart. She feebly pointed to her own, her arm shaking. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you but... I love you. I've loved you from the moment we met in that storm and I'm gonna keep on loving you every single day for the rest of my life because loving you is the best thing I've ever done. You're my whole world" Mike was sobbing now and he rested his head on her chest as she wrapped her arms around him. "You're my world too. I love you" she whispered. Mike felt her chest rise for the last time, and felt her last breath against his neck. Then her arms dropped limply to her sides. He leaned out to see her eyes closed. He held her hand and just cried and cried. The tears shook his body and took over, grief stretching through every part of him. He was vaguely aware of Nancy hugging him. Then Dustin and Lucas, until soon everyone was crouched around him, crying and hugging.
To Mike, it was like all the color draining from the world. He looked up at the girl lying beside him. He wanted to scream, punch someone, blame someone, but all he could do was sit there and blame himself. He let her go. He let her walk to that car and go to that hell-hole. He should've gone with her. Held her as she fell from the effort of closing the gate. He should've- stopped it somehow. But instead, here he was, crying beside the love of his life as she grew cold.
and it hurts like hell.