37) 'Don't Talk About Sex To Avoid Awkward Conversations' And Other Advice...

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37) 'Don't Talk About Sex To Avoid Awkward Conversations' And Other Advice That Is Generally Obvious And Should Be Common Sense But Since This Is The Squad Social Norms Are Like Heston's Love Life (Imaginary)


Benjamin never thought he'd find himself in the position of a star-crossed lover. Granted, Thijmen was just leaving for the holidays, but it still, to put it lightly, shat on his Christmas vacations. It's not like he would go into a catatonic state or anything, either. Just emptiness. He'd stuff himself with more food than usual.

Right before Thijmen left, Benjamin had an idea. "What if I leave with him?" he asked his kin.

"What for?" asked his dad.

"Uh. I don't... uh."

"Then no."

Thijmen was packing. From his general attitude on the subject Benjamin could infer... nothing, frankly. For all the harassing and laughing, when it came to Important Matters, Thijmen always seemed to choose indifference. Indifference meant quietness, which meant Benjamin getting intimidated, which may or may not have been involving him avoiding a certain person.

He still wanted to talk, which proved to be quite a dilemma.

Should he ask if he needed help packing? Then again, it looked like he was nearly done already. In all the time that the Dutch boy had stayed here, he hadn't added anything new to his wardrobe. His bags were the exact same size.

"Why are you just standing there?" Thijmen asked.

Benjamin shrugged.

He reached out with his hand. "Come here."

Benjamin walked over and suddenly got pulled onto his lap, a pair of arms wrapping tightly around him. "Now don't go moping around, Benji. I'll be back before you know it. It's not like we celebrate Christmas very abundantly. I already missed Sinterklaas."

"What is that?"

"It's basically the same, but different."

"I see."

"Yeah. Maybe they'll have a chocolate letter left for me."

So they shared a kiss, or five, and then Benjamin's parents came to say Thijmen had to leave, and they waved at each other as Thijmen got in the car.

Ten seconds later, when the car was out of sight, that good feeling that only came with affection from a significant other was completely gone. Eleanor laid her hand on her son's shoulder and said, "We're having tamalitos preparados de curil con almendras y sushi tonight."

Not even his favorite food could cheer him up.


Telling someone not to mope around was silly. They'd do it anyway. It was like telling a cat to stop purring. If you touched its belly, it'd purr. If you touched Benjamin's belly, he'd scream, but that's besides the point.

He moped around.

The squad (+ Pi) played games, which was nice, but he still moped around.

Even his friends noticed. Heston kept pulling on Benjamin's cheeks to get him to start smiling and Pi kept complaining that he was back for nothing. "Benjamin, Jesus," he said, "he's just gone for a few weeks. Stop being so melodramatic."

"You wouldn't get it."

"That your boyfriend is gone for two weeks and you're acting like he just got sent to a no-return mission to Mars? I don't."

"Ah, I missed this dynamic," mumbled Messiah, content.

"Nobody cares about Benjamin's love live," Martin said, which got everyone staring at him. Robin, Link, Charizard, Cloud and Bayonetta stopped beating the shit out of each other on the screen. "What? Why'd you stop?"

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