Gym days

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"So your failing math?" Gunner pulls his headphones through his shirt and loops the earbuds around his neck. 

He just can't seem to come to terms with me failing. It's not like I did it on purpose. I can't help but laugh at his confusion. I mean I have explained everything to him, including the tutoring to him like ten times since we got here.

There is no baseball practice on Thursdays as coach has some family thing, so Gunner and I hit the local gym. There is something about the burn of muscles as they're stretched and worked, that I find relaxing. 

"Yes, Gunner, but I have a tutor and she's giving me a chance so I don't miss the season." I laugh, strapping my phone on my arm. 

I pull up my workout playlist as Gunner and I step onto the treadmills for a warm up. Mostly, the playlist is a bunch of fast-paced songs that get my blood pumping.  

The sound of my feet moving along with the machine mixes with my music and the perfect soundtrack is born. It's actually part of the reason Gunner and I get along so well. We don't feel the need to fill the silence that is created by running. 

Running to me has always been therapeutic.  You don't have to think about running, you just run. I try to clear my mind, to think about nothing but my heart pounding and the blood flowing. Nine times out of ten, I come back from the run feeling refreshed or clear headed. 

This is not one of those times. I can't stop the flow of thoughts that filter into my head against my will. 

Miles and Bridget looking so cozy at the party. Lucy intertwining our fingers together at the carnival. The way Levi looked at me like he could see my secret buried underneath everything. 

In fact, Levi is the most confusing of them all. I can handle my unrequited crush on Miles. I practically expect it, he's straight for crying out loud.  Why can't I get it through my head that he and I will never happen?

Everyone has crushes but does everyone else find them this hard to get over? When other people see their crush happy with someone else, do they get a pang in their chest?

And Lucy, why wouldn't she have held my hand? she is technically my girlfriend. It's just a weird feeling having her next to me; one that I am still trying to get used to. 

It's possible that I am just thinking too much, but her hand just felt wrong against my own. It was just two palms pressed together, slowly sweating until one of us got grossed out enough to let go. 

I like Lucy, I do, but I think I rushed into this whole girlfriend-to-hide-the-truth thing. For the life of me, I can't even remember why I thought it would be a good idea.

"B, you planning to run all day?" I nearly stumble when Gunner's hand touches my shoulder, pulling my earbud out. 

Sweat is trailing down my face as I glance at the distance count. How had I run four miles and not even known it? 

I grab the towel that Gunner tosses me, wiping my face as I follow him to the bench press. Neither of us speaks, as he stretches his arms and I load on the one hundred fifty pound weights to start with. 

"So I asked out Chaney Walker again," a Cheshire cat grin spreads across Gunner's face as he begins to lift the weight. 

Gunner has had a crush on Chaney since third grade when he declared she had the prettiest yellow hair he'd ever seen. He started asking her out randomly in freshman year, but every time Chaney has turned him down. 

I always thought she liked him though. I have caught her staring at him, but when she sees me looking, she rolls her eyes and looks away. 

"She said and I quote, 'if I wanted a dog, I would go to the pound'," he grunts under the weight after using the over exaggerated girly voice.

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