what it means to be alive

introduction

     you're reading this right now. you, a person with your own ideas, memories, and worries is reading these very words. i must say, i'm honored. in the moment i'm writing this, you're nothing but an abstract thought to me. a hypothetical of what could be. yet, there you are, reading these nonsensical words. it's incredible. we both are sharing this moment together, yet our timelines aren't matching. we're both sharing the human experience; if it's fair to call it that. it doesn't belong to us; it's life. i suppose i should stop aimlessly wandering around the main topic. i'm rambling, and it could be drawing away your interest. you've probably already formed your prejudices about my writing, subconsciously. hopefully, they aren't too negative. this is simply an expression of all the thoughts i've contained inside my head, so please understand if it isn't always metaphorical or beautiful. hopefully, however, it will always be raw and truthful. because, that's what real literature is; it's a portrayal of the subjects that make people uncomfortable. it points out what no one wants to hear and demands that it's discussed. so, i will provide you with plenty of obscure metaphors and flowing words. usually, that's how my mind works. but this piece is different, and i'm not sure why. maybe i just needed to share some things. i hope that i don't bore you to death, or confuse you too much. the majority of this collection won't be like this, i promise. i just thought you deserved an honest introduction. i'd like for you to know who i truly am. though, i'm probably subconsciously still filtering myself. i don't want you to hate me, or deem me as unintelligent, even though i know these are just social constructs. you're a stranger behind a screen. but, i suppose, i am too. i should probably introduce myself.
      my name is grey. actually, it's not, but i'd like for this account to be rather anonymous. i choose the name grey because of what people often associate with the color. to explain this better, here's the definition of the word grey; grey (adjective) ~ of a color intermediate between black and white, as of ashes or an overcast sky. isn't that beautiful? it's the space in between two distinct opposites. it's the overlooked color smeared between the constructs that devour our existence.
     i am not satisfied with anything i've written so far. it feels off. i hope you don't have an inaccurate portrayal of who i am. or, if you do, perhaps i can change your mind. after all, how can you know who i am, when i myself have no clue? i'm being ignorant. this collection of thoughts is meant to challenge the ideas of our existence and further our understanding of life how we know it, yet here i am, pondering over how you, the reader, perceives me.
     i believe i've said all that i needed to. at this point, i'm rambling. all things come to an end, so i suppose it's time to end this chapter. i'm unsure what the next shall hold, but hopefully i can convey how i view the world better than i have so far. goodbye, for now.