33 Things To Do In Church

1. Randomly yell, "Hallelujah!"

2. Ask for seconds on the bread.

3. Any time the preist mentions "Jesus" stand up, put your left hand palm-side up out, and sing, in your best oprah voice, "OUR SAVIOR!!" and sit back down.

4. Pretend you are drunk after drinking the wine.

5. Pretend to laugh at some of the preists jokes.

6. When you shake hands with someone, give them a creepy smile-face!

7. Make farting noises when it is quiet.

8. While the organ or another instrument is playing, clap your hands to the beat and hum a song.

9. Ask poeple what "Amen" means.

10. When you eat the bread, ask the priest if it's stale.

11. Count the number of colors there are in the stain glass window.

12. When someone is walking down the isle, give them a mean stare for no reason.

13. Open the doors for everyone. Then slam the door in someone's face when you want to go in the church.

14. While everyone sings, sing loudly, dramaticly, and use hand motions.

15. Dance when people are singing.

16. Attempt to read a section of the Bible upside down.

17. Rock back and forth while in the fetal positon and say, "It's okay... Jesus will save us all..."

18. Once it's all over, run out of the door and yell "FREEDOM!!!" and fall to your knees, soaking up the sunshine. Or what ever weather you are having that day...

19. Ten minutes before it starts, find a kid in the front rows, hand him a dollar, and tell him to ask the preacher: "Would you rather be stoned or crucified?"

20. Moonwalk down the isle to your seat.

21. If your arm starts bleeding from a cut you didn't know about for a week (it's okay. Happens to all of us!), stand up and say, "ATTENTION!! My arm is bleeding! Maybe this is a sign?!"

22. Admire the art work on the walls.

23. Make up your own words to the songs!! :D

24. Eat dry Cheerio's or another brand of cerial throughout the whole thing. Then burp loudly when it's all over.

25. If there is a crying baby, go over and tell the mother: "IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT THING UP SO HELP ME GOD I'LL KILL IT!!!"

26. When a baby does start crying, mumble to yourself, "Can you blame it?"

27. After every sentance someone says, imagine them saying "in bed" at the end.

28. Make the sun reflect off your watch into the preacher's face.

29. Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being stoned, especially Stephen.

30. Drum the beat of your favorite song on the pews.

31. Cut the cheese, and have a friend shout, "Hark! An angel has spoken!"

32. Write on the bathroom wall: "The eyes of the LORD are upon you!!!"

33. When you are driving away, hang out of your car's window and go, "Whoo-hoo!!"