Waiting

Sometimes I get tired of waiting, but I know that this sacrifice will bring me to something good.

This is not my love story, it’s hers, my bestfriend’s, who I really loved since the day she hugged me. She might be unattractive as most guys think about her, but I see a spark that I haven’t seen on any other girls.

But me, a nobody, is now waiting for a dreamer to answer another dreamer like me. Yes she loves someone else. Who wouldn’t like that jock who sweats all over his body just to get attention, unlike me who is very skinny and not tan like him. Maybe I’ll wait, someday.

One time, I told her I need to tell her something, but she had to see that jock, so I waited till she return, I waited at the school cafeteria until it was already the closing time of the school, just to find out that she was already at their house, eating dinner. But I still waited.

After that day, I was alone for lunch because that guy asked her to join her for lunch, I waited until she would ask me to sit by her, but the bell rang and she never even looked at me. But I waited.

After some time, she never talked to me, she will only come to me when she’s sad, but I will never pass the chance to give her warmth on her coldest hours, on her sleepless nights or on her sorrowful days. Maybe I’m a fool, but I will still waited.

That time came, they became closer, she even declared him as his soulmate, and simply called me friend. I don’t care, as long as she won’t forget me, but one day, she and her new friends came teasing me and laughing at me, I could see her very happy, if that made her happy, I’m willing to be a nerd everyday.

No one befriends me, why? I’m a weird person with a boring personality and unattractive looks, who would like me?

On graduation day, she asked me to take her picture with that guy, if that made her happy, I’ll do it. College came by and because she really liked him, she went to the same school though it was costly, but in any of my birth days, she can’t even get me a greeting card. But I waited.

Now, we have our own lives, where is that jock? Following his dreams to be a football player. Where is she? Following her dreams, that jock of course, and me? Waiting for my dreams to come true. But is that possible? I waited.

I waited for her to realize, I waited for her to see me. I waited for her to stop crying and see my tears flowing. I waited to the day that instead of him was me. In short, I waited for her to love me.

But everything went wrong, I found out I had cancer, I don’t want to bother her, so I didn’t tell her. She was crying, I wanted to comfort her, but I’m here in the hospital, and she still doesn’t know.

One time, they had a fight, she was looking for me.

It is this day, I’m writing this letter to you, my love, I waited, but I cannot last longer. I’ll just send you this, so you will remember me.

I love you, I’ll wait for you in heaven.