Neither could sleep that dreaded night.
She tried to count stars or sheep.
He wanted to drink, to get numb.
She doubted her decision.
He was losing his mind, since when did he need her so much?
Giving up with a heavy huff, she logged on Pinterest to keep her mind off the heartbreak.
Giving up with a long sigh , he felt like nothing would change his blue depressed mood.
Thin walls kept them separated but their souls pained at the same idea "Tomorrow at dawn all will end."
Her alarm announced that their longest night is over, the dawn is here. Colors started to change painting the sky lighter. Yet their hearts felt anything but light. Her heart pounded in her ears. She felt it throbbing painfully. Stepping back though is for both their benefits, especially his. She was falling and he was not ready to catch her. He was suffocating but she wanted something real. He wouldn't accept, she thought. She would only break further and pain him more.
Opening the door of her room as slow as possible, she peaked hoping for him to be asleep. She would have sworn that she made no noise but his echoing voice told her otherwise. She cursed her luck and hugged the sleeping Austin closer to her. Now,she has to say goodbye again. Now ,her heart would break all over again.
"Hi" she shyly said walking to the sofa where he sat
"You are still moving away?" His voice sounded tired. He looked as exhausted as she was.
"My airplane leaves in two hours." She announced locking her gaze with his. She truly misses him already.
"Why?" he once again asked as she sat next to him
"I came into your life like a tornado. I feel like I disturbed every balance you had achieved. I turned your friends against you. I gained the trust of your family. Because of me, you punched your cousin. I became a source of pressure. I obliged you to live with a baby and let's not forget a wife that you clearly don't need... I don't want to pressure you or burden you anymore. I will still come back in a month or so. Then, we can meet up and decide about the divorce. The least I can do is set you free. I am sorry for any action that angered you...You are an amazing person Blaze." She murmured wiping away her tears.
"I want you to stay, that's all I know." he denied begging
"Our ways are different. You would get tired from me by the end. This is why I want to step back on good terms. I don't want you to ever hate me..." she replied reaching out for his fist and holding it into her smaller hands.
"I would never hate you." He promised feeling drained " I got used to you. This home won't be one without you. My life would be dull. Coming here to you, not just you but even him became the highlight of my day. In less than a year , you became closer to me than my best friends." He argued back and freed his hand of her reaching out for Austin.
For the very first time, he took hold Austin delicately. He acted with care like a true father would and hugged the child close to him. Austin still asleep just rested his head calmly while Blaze looked like the one needing comfort.
"I grew to like you a lot to just ignore you forever. We would always stay close friends. Our situation though is messed up. What if you meet other people and you fall in true love? How would anyone understand our deal. I don't want to tie you down or restrict you from living." she dared letting him hold Austin for the moment. They looked like a real father and son and that made her heart pain more.
"My lifestyle won't allow me to meet anyone and I don't care about the opinion of anyone else." he kind of spoke loudly making Austin stir and at that moment she took her baby away, feeling the ache doubling in her chest; his lifestyle would never change.
"We need time to think." she explained yet again seeing his anger evolve.
"You are being selfish. I never asked for time or distance." His voice echoed
"I am doing this for us, for you." she promised standing up
"Once again, I never asked for this. I need you here." he obliged and stood following her lead.
"Are you willing to get two dogs, a cat and maybe another baby? Are you willing to move into a less crowded area? To attend Austin's classes when needed? To babysit him or hear him cry during the night? I have spent nights awake walking around my bed rocking him to sleep because I cannot utter a word or sing him loud. I have to hush him when he is laughing loud too. I am trying to find a balance between your needs, mine's and Austin's...I want to stay too but I need to breathe too. I wouldn't stay here forever so you need to get used to us being apart." Lexi said standing her ground. She needs to move away or else she would end up married to and in love with a player who wouldn't consider her more than w friend.
"Marriage is about compromise. You got your baby. In a year or two buy a cat. Dogs are too needy and loud." He offered highly following her steps to Austin's baby carriage and their already packed luggage
"This time would do us both good." she promised again looking his way " If we don't move apart we would only break. I am going to miss you so much. If I feel ready to face you again, I would come back. Maybe it won't take that long...Don't get angry with me. Blaze I promise you this is for your own good." she completed then stood on her tiptoes and left a lingering kiss on his cheek "I am going to miss you." she repeated and his hands circled her waist bringing her to his chest in a tight embrace.
"I never felt this way before. I feel like I cannot breathe." He hushed in her ear making her shiver.
"Neither do I." she mumbled to his chest and hugged him back.
" It is like you are my air." He explained not caring about how cheesy he sounded
"I need to go." She pushed lightly away from him
"I am going to miss you." he promised and his lips stole a peck from hers.