You and I | Hanamiya Makoto

▸ 9

HE LEFT YOU

Remaining painfully ignorant to your surroundings made an impact on you. It made you over think, it made you weak and deemed others severely unworthy of your innocent teasing and bullying. It hit your ego and pride, hard and it didn't help that you were only just starting to realise how much Hanamiya's unsubtle booty calls bothered you in ways that you shouldn't even dare to think about.

It made you realise that you actually adored how it seemed like he used to treasure your body and adore your pretentious self. You knew what was going on though, he was using you as a stress relief of some sorts and it wasn't going to be long before you were dropped for good. You were useful in the aspects that made him feel less alone because there was a difference between the air surrounding Hanamiya and his teammates compared to the atmosphere when it was just the two of you.

With his team, he belittled them and taught them how to win, how to hurt others as he hurt them in the gym. He was so good, his skills in basketball wasn't that of an amateur because he knew what he was doing, and it felt good too. It felt like a good waste of his time, he couldn't really get sick of it because it allowed him to compete in bigger and better competitions, to show other pathetic teams the skills of Kirisaki Daiichi.

But, with you. He also learned it was alright to belittle you and make you squirm in every way he desired. He was allowed to show you what he liked and he forced it on you, making you love it just like he does. You never pleaded to stop, you never pushed him away and it made him undeniably happy. But it seemed like it didn't matter if it was you or not.

He could simply close his eyes and imagine the big-breasted model from the magazine that Kazuya had shown him earlier that day. He could do these to you, feel the white, blinding pleasure and release without a worry in the world because you did it to. He didn't see the sad smiles you gave him after he cleaned himself up and he didn't seem to care about the light limp in your step when he chose to do more, feel more that night because you simply laughed it off i'm such a weak bitch

You'd jokingly say, sarcastic and all. He'd grunt in reply, satisfied he was able to put you into such a state and then he was off to a blissful sleep. Sometimes. Sometimes he left, even if it was his own house and he'd leave to take a small walk, leaving you alone in his bed to find your clothes that had been ripped, thrown and left on the floor in a mess.

No words shared, no affectionate kisses - even if they were fake - and no embraces that warmed the chilling feeling that slowly warped over your chest, piercing into your heart because it wasn't even that long ago that he claimed you were his and he was yours. He'd take you from people when he didn't like that you were near them, he'd keep you from his teams' snide insults and he'd hold your hand as tightly as you held his but now? Now it was everything that happened only screened in a movie that the two of you watched so long ago. Like it wasn't even the two of you that did these things like it was a cold memory of someone you didn't know.

So, you ignored these fleeting feelings just like he did. You hated to admit it, but you... learned from the best and stayed alone some nights and even more alone on others. You hated people, there was no one to talk to because the only person you let yourself become bare in front of was the one who in turn was crushing you the most.

He was doing what he loved and it seemed like you were happy with it, you were happy he was even still associating with you. Content, that he still glanced at you and your body that writhed for him on his hot mattress. Nothing was spoken during the day and it didn't go unnoticed by the students at school.

They were frightful of the tormenting that might arrive, always staying away from you and your gaze because you always looked nonchalant.

"Come over tonight, through the back door."

Hanamiya hadn't even looked at you, picking up a basketball when you had been looking for him for an unknown reason. It was coming to this now, looking for the boy who held your heart as he slowly and surely squeezed the life out of it; out of you.

You were mildly surprised to see him look at you, wave at you to make you come to him and you did so without any hesitance whatsoever, that's where he commanded you to go to his house and he spoke without a care for any plans you might've had. They'd probably be boring and stupid anyway,

"Alright."

A simple word, an agreement with no signs of arguing nor questioning. Hanamiya felt elated to hear it, he didn't even know why he told you to come over when he could've just waited on his bed. That's how blindingly submissive you appeared to him now, anyway. He chose to look down at you, smirking before the sight rendered him momentarily speechless.

Your hair was messed up, unbrushed from the morning and there were bags under your eyes that he could see even when you hadn't looked up at him. Not like you used to. He huffed and looked away from the pitiful sight, bored with the way you carried yourself so miserably. Your arms sagging by your sides and your buttons weren't even done up properly, he could see the top lining of your bra but it didn't entice him.

It disgusted him, the bad boy furrowed his thick brows and clicked his tongue, he felt ridiculous for even conversing with you anymore. He was sure the sex would be a drag too. Just the same thing over and over, boring and repetitive just like his other hookups he used to engage in before he formally met you.

"Actually, just drop it - we're done."

This time, your head snapped upwards. You finally looked at him properly and he actually revelled in the look upon your broken down face. Panicked, shock, horrified and even fear. He could see it all in your dull eyes and he did nothing but smirk, looking down at you like the pathetic shell of a witty, independent teenager you were.

were.

You were gone now though, he ended it - finally - and even when the shattering of your heart echoed in your ears and the tightness of your chest made a shuddering breath released from your mouth, there was one thing that Hanamiya Makoto didn't see in you.

He didn't get a glimpse of the immense relief you felt.

He didn't know how it felt like shackles had been shattered, broken and ripped off of you, off of your hand and your legs and your mind and your heart too. He didn't know how scared you were, how you didn't know what to do now, how to deal with yourself and your newfound loneliness. The loneliness that could now be considered serenity or solitude, a nice one, one of satisfaction and it was like being reborn almost because the cuffs that bound you to him; the words he spoke to worm himself into your heart and into your very soul, were nothing but words.

Words to make you move to his every whim, to have you intoxicated on him like fine wine and it disgusted you because of how he'd done that to you. He'd made you like this, he turned you into a spineless being in this rotten existence and now,

now you were free, broken and in need of dire healing, but still,

free.

A basketball to the back made you flinch, you heard Kazuya chuckling to himself and Hanamiya; unnoticed by you, glared at the male behind you. You didn't say anything, no squeaking of surprise or retort or even a scream of insults as the only thing that travelled through your mind like a broken record on repeat was him,

'Actually, just drop it - we're done.'

And to his undeniable surprise, you smiled. As widely as you could, all signs of fatigue and exhaustion expired when his dark eyes caught this and his breath got caught in his throat,

"Bye bye, Hanamiya!"

Holy moly, me oh my, this guy is a dick but he makes my heart go doki doki