You're getting over a bad breakup...
You haven't slept alone in months. Even when your boyfriend wasn't with you, your best friend was. That was actually one of the reasons he broke up with you. He claimed you loved Awsten more than you loved him. Of course you love Awsten—you've known him forever.
You hate sleeping alone. You can't stand it. That hurts the most out of all this. At night, the feeling of loneliness is amplified thousandfold.
You grab your phone and dial his number.
"Hello?" He answers on the first ring.
"Awsten? Can you come over?" you ask softly.
"Of course. I'll be right over," he replies and hangs up.
You put aside your phone and look up at your ceiling. You're overcome with a feeling of emptiness. It fills you to your core, permeating through your soul. You just lie there motionless.
You close your eyes, breathing slowly. You can't cry anymore. You did that last night. You're just at a point of reminiscing. Only you can't remember the good things.
That's when you hear your door open and close. Awsten has a key to your place, so you never have to worry about him not being able to come in.
"Hey," he says as he comes into your room.
"Hey," you say, looking to him. You feel a bit better just seeing his face.
"You have any clean shirts for me?" he asks, and you gesture to your wardrobe. He goes over and opens the top drawer.
"Awsten, no," you say as he pulls out one of your bras. "You know that's my underwear drawer," you groan, and he giggles.
"I just like your reaction," he responds before returning your bra and closing the drawer. He grabs a shirt from his drawer—the middle one. He pulls off his hoodie and shirt before pulling on the clean one.
This makes you think as well. You rarely wore your ex's clothes, but you always wore Awsten's. He has his own drawer, while your ex only had a toothbrush at your place.
Were you unfair to him?
"What are you thinking about?" Awsten asks as he throws his jeans across the room and yanks on some pajama pants.
"Was I fair to him?" you say, and Awsten climbs into bed beside you. You roll over and look to him.
"He's the one who was cheating," he replies softly.
"But was I actually cheating, too?" you whisper, and Awsten looks into your eyes. He reaches forward, touching your cheek.
"You weren't sleeping with anyone else," he says.
"I was, though. Not like...sex, but like actual sleeping," you reply, and he strokes your cheek gently.
"People have best friends," he tells you. "Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean we had something going on."
You look at him, studying his features in the dark. His eyes stare into yours, and you feel yourself smile slightly.
"I think he knew what I didn't admit to myself," you whisper.
You gave him your everything. You made a real effort. But Awsten stayed in your life because that's where he belonged.
"That I love you," you say softly.
A flash of memory...
"You're always with Awsten!" he yelled. "Are you fucking him?"
"He's my best friend," you countered.
"Answer the fucking question!" he screamed at you, making you shrink back slightly.
"I'm not," you responded, your voice quivering. He looked to you, his face softening.
"Fuck. I'm sorry," he said quickly, stepping forward to envelop you in a hug.
You always forgave him. But he would always come back to the same thing. You would have the same fight over and over. You tried to break up with him. You really did. But you couldn't. He was a nice guy—at least you thought that. When he finally called it quits with you, you couldn't help but feel a bit relieved. But that didn't disregard how you'd given a piece of your heart to him. Breakups hurt. That's just how it works.
And then, you discovered he was cheating on you. It was a fucking mess.
You're brought back to the present. Back to Awsten. He looks into your eyes and smiles slightly.
"I love you, too."
He moves closer, and you close your eyes. You can feel the ghost of his lips on yours, and then finally, your lips meet.
You melt into his touch, moving a hand to his face.
He tastes sweet, and his lips feel soft and warm. You can smell his musky yet sweet scent.
Your heart beats rapidly like a hummingbird's wings. When you pull apart, it feels all too soon.
"For the record," he says softly, pressing his forehead to yours. "We didn't do that until now, and you definitely weren't cheating on him."
You smile slightly. You don't know why you've wasted so much time on jerks. You have someone right here in front of you who will treat you right.
"Plus, he was a dick," he adds, making you laugh slightly.
"He was," you admit, and he lets out a small laugh.
That night, you don't sleep alone. You also realize just how lucky you are. This time, you're not going to make a mistake and let him go.
okay but imagine having Awsten as a friend and not being obsessed with him like