Well, Fuck (Lucy Heartfilia x Assassin! Reader x Yukino Aguria) A

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Requested by: @YuriGirlLover

Y/n

"Well, fuck," I say to myself as the two girls stare me down. "Well, fuck," I say to myself as they scold me. "Well, fuck," These two words summarize my entire fucking day. I really, really, really hate the agencies, but, now, I'm starting to loathe the assassination profession. Why am I here, you ask? Well, let me tell you how I ended up on my knees, sniper rifle to my side, covered in cuts and bruises, being scolded by my wives in the number of 16 hours. It all started at my workplace, Fairy Saber Assassination.

My boss, Makarov, stared me down as I leaned my chair back. "These are your targets," he slid the three folders to me I opened them up with raised eyebrows. "Jackal of the Tartaros Terrorists, Jiemma, the Sabertooth Assassination's old boss, and..." I nearly dropped the folder. "Ivan Dreyar of the Raven Tail Terrorists. You...you want me to kill your own son?" I looked at Makarov in shock. His face was stern. "Yes, Ivan has caused enough problems for our newly combined agency, it's time he, along with his other goons, fall." I gripped the folder with Ivan's mug shot. "Fine, but Flare Corona's death is against my moral code. I swore last year, after Lucy and Yukino took my hand in marriage, that I would never hurt someone they labeled a friend or family member. Sorano, you already know, is off my list." Makarov nodded his head then shooed me off.

I pulled the hood of my white sweatshirt over my y/h/c hair, my shades over my y/e/c eyes, and my fingerless gloves over my y/s/c hands. As I left the building, disguised as an office building, I passed Natsu Dragneel, another assassin in our ranks. He smiled at me, and I returned the gesture. "Special night, Dragneel?" I asked, turning my back so I was facing him. "Yep, 5-year anniversary with the husband." Natsu's husband, Gray Fullbuster, is one of our scientists, and happily married to Natsu. Actually, most of the people in the Fairy Saber Agency are married. Examples: Juvia Lockser, scientist, married Erza Scarlet, an assassin, last month. Sting Eucliffe, the Sabertooth boss, has been married to his assistant and hacker, Rogue Cheney, for four years, and I'm married to Lucy Heartfilia, an undercover agent, and Yukino Aguria, an information gatherer. Yes, I'm married to two women, but they're married to each other, too. All three of us are Polyamory lesbians.

I decided to start off with Jackal, he's the easiest, doesn't mean much, but he's weaker than Jiemma, and definitely Ivan. I put in my earpiece, it rang for a second before Rogue's voice took over my left ear. "Assassin Y/n Aguria," Lucy and I took Yukino's last name, "code name Star Shooter, who're you starting with?" Rogue asked me, I could hear him typing already. "Jackal from the Tartaros Terrorists, where to, Rogue?" I asked quietly, walking down the streets. My sniper rifle was tucked away in a guitar case, pretty clever, uh? "Jackal's with his other terrorist buddies in the Empire State Building," New York City is where the agency is located. "Alright, thanks, I'll contact you if I need help. Star Shooter out."

"Shit," I repositioned my arm for the tenth time, "this window is way too small." I put my rifle back into the guitar case. "Yo, Dark Chocolate, I need some help." I heard Rogue grumble an insult at the nickname I decided to give him after Sting told me he tastes like, just that, dark chocolate. Before Rogue could give me instructions, my phone started ringing. "Hello?" I asked, answering the phone. "Hey, baby," It was Lucy. "Hey, honey, how's Yukino?" I asked, getting into the elevator, I'm going a floor up. "She's fine, I just finished up a job, killed some snooty bitch who was smuggling U.S Funds. How are you? I know you've kept your promise of keeping off work, right?" I flinched. I promised that after I broke my leg last month. But, we need the money. "Yes, of course!" I laughed nervously.

"Okay, I love you, bye." Lucy cooed happily. "I love you, too." The phone hung up and I heard Rogue laughing. "Cute, you haven't told her, have you?" I glanced away from nothing. "Shut it, what floor should I go to anyways?" Rogue told me, "Fuck it, Star Shooter, just goto the roof." I pressed the button for the highest floor. When the elevator door opened I walked out quickly. I found a latter that would've led to the roof. I quickly scald it. "There we go, Empire State Building." I aimed with more space this time. "Perfect," I spotted Jackal laughing with the others. "Blegh," I stuck my tongue out in disgust. "Give me the order, Rogue," I whispered. "1...2...3!" I pulled my trigger, getting the perfect hit on Jackal's head. For good measure, I sniped the man closest to him.

Jiemma was surprisingly easy as fuck. He got weaker. His guard was completely down and his back was turned to me. Jiemma's look on his face was hilarious! I sound cruel as hell, but, hey, this man is constantly torturing people for fun. "Where's Ivan, Dark-" Rogue cut me off. "Finish that sentence and I let you get caught." I shut my mouth quickly. Before I apologized, my phone rang again. "Yeah?" I asked, walking down the streets to where I thought Ivan would me. "Sweetie," it was Yukino, "Lu and I were wondering if you'd like to go to dinner tonight."

"Sure, is there a special occasion?" I asked. I racked my brain. Lucy's birthday was two months ago, Yukino's is in five months, mine was two weeks ago, our anniversary is Christmas, and neither of us got a raise in pay or something. "No, we just want to get some dinner. You coming or not?" Yukino asked in a fake annoyed voice. "Yes," I said with a smile. "Okay, bye, love you, too." I put my phone in my pocket then heard Rogue say, "Turn the fuck around, dumbass, you're moving away from him." I cringed then turned around with a small blush.

"I'm too close, don't you think?" I whispered. Rogue said in order for me to kill Ivan, I'd have to be in a vent. My sniper rifle was facing the back of Ivan's back while I held a string tied to the trigger. I was supposed to pull the string when Rogue told me. "Yeah, yeah, but this is the best place." Never thought he'd agree with me. "3...2...-" I heard a quiet beeping sound. "What's that?" I asked, looking around. I saw out of the corner of my eye, Ivan smirking. "Wait, fuck- Y/N!" Rogue yelled. The beeping picked up, and I realized what was happening. "GET WENDY!" I screamed before the impact crushed my ribs.

And that's how I got here. Lucy and Yukino stared me down as Roue stood behind me. He was bowing. "It was my fault, I should've seen the bombs. I'm-" Lucy cut him off. "Shut it, Cheney, go to Sting so we can argue with our wife here." Rogue shivered then backed away. The door slammed shut, and the screaming started up. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! WE BASICALLY BEGGED YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THE FORCE FOR A WHILE! AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO! GO OFF KILLING NOT ONE, BUT THREE MEN?! LOOK AT YOU! LOOK AT YOUR- YOUR LEG!" I did as Lucy commanded. My leg was wrapped in bandages, covered in fresh blood. "I'm...sorry, Lucy, Yukino, but...it's my job."

For the first time in two years, Yukino snapped at me. "YOUR JOB IS TO STAY ALIVE! THAT'S WHAT YOU AGREED TO WHEN WE ALL GOT MARRIED! OR ARE YOU AN IDIOT?! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU BEFORE?! YOU BROKE FIVE RIBS, A LEG, BOTH YOUR ARMS AND NEARLY CRACKED YOUR SPINE IN HALF!" I shivered at Yukino's stern words. Tears streamed down all of our faces. "I'm...I'm sorry. I should've listened, I just wanted to keep my promise. My promise of giving you the life I promised. If we all don't work like we're supposed to, especially me, we'll be evicted. I'm-" Lucy and Yukino hugged me tightly. "Just shut up, shut up, you dummy." Yukino sobbed on my shoulder. "Please, please just stay safe for a while." I wrapped my arms around the girls.

"I promise, and I'm sorry. I love you guys, and...and-" I sobbed some more until I couldn't anymore. "Come on," Lucy helped Yukino pull me to my feet, "let's go home and have some dinner. Then, we can watch a movie." I smiled, walking in between my two wives. Makarov and Sting were outside the room waiting for me. "Agent Y/n Aguria, you are hereby suspended from the force-"

"Until December 27." I decided on my own then smiled. "What? Do you know how far away that is?!" Sting yelled as I walked away, pulling Yukino and Lucy with me. "Yep, and I need that long!" I answered before walking out of the building. "Can you survive that long without work?" Yukino asked me in shock. "Yeah, I'll start looking for another job next week," I said happily. Lucy kissed my cheek, and Yukino followed. "We love you, you dummy." Lucy teased. "I love you guys too, now let's get home already, before Sting comes to yell at me." Yukino and Lucy laughed as we walked towards the subway.

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