Broken Wings

Part Thirty Nine - The list part two

A/N Ok, so I guess that you guys can see where this is going, but hopefully it's not going to be too predictable, and it definitely isn't going to be straight forward. Hold on for the ride! MZxx

Chapter Thirty Nine

Julia was nodding and smiling, optimism coming off her in waves. He on the other hand, was petrified. He had no experience at this, and no idea how this would end. She flipped the page, and Aaron was both relieved and devastated to see the page empty.

"You've got no idea?"

She shook her head, "outside of what's on the first list everything terrifies me."

"But some could be workable?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I only know that it's all scary."

Sighing, he reached for the pen, he'd agreed to this, he couldn't back out now, "OK, let's start it this way. What scares you the most?"

Pondering became a blush as her cheeks flushed red, and she dropped her eyes for a moment, "oral sex. I'd hate that more than anything."

God, this is horrendous. He had to shake himself a little, eliminate the thought processes running through her brain, "giving, or receiving?" He could barely believe he'd asked that, and that she was contemplating an answer.

Shuddering she lifted her eyes to his, "he always forced himself into my mouth, held me down and choked me. I think that scares me more than anything."

Pain surged through him at that, anger threatening to make him explode, she'd been a child. It was a horrendous vision for an adult woman, but a girl, a child? He bit down on his cheek for a moment, controlling his emotions, because this was about her. This was exactly why they were doing this, to shed those awful memories. "So giving is a hard no."

"Almost a joke?" She offered as she nodded.

"Not a very funny one, hey?" He scribbled 'Giving oral sex at the top of the third page. "What about receiving?" He wanted to cross his fingers like a childhood prayer, hoping that man hadn't stolen that from her. He knew that most women enjoyed that more than anything. She deserved to know how it felt, make decisions on her own experiences not on what he did to her.

She shrugged, "I don't know. Never tried."

"Could you imagine it?"

Julia was silent for a long moment, then shrugged again, "how do you know if you haven't tried something?"

And that, ladies and gentleman, was the million dollar question. This was a woman who'd never had an orgasm, who'd never touched herself, who'd never known the pleasure, the relief that sex with the right person could bring. Hell, it could be amazing with the wrong person! "I don't know, Jule. I suppose we have to take it down less specific than that. Touching?"

"My boobs?" She stared at him, so innocently. She seemed to have no idea how those two words caused him to have a fight to keep his eyes at face level. "You tried...I almost punched you."

He remembered that, "I know, but that was before all this. Does the thought of someone touching you scare you?"

She nodded almost mechanically, "strangers..." Her eyes were wide, "it's too much."

She was physically shaking, and it pained him, he reached for her hand, "what about someone you trust? One of the men you slept with?"

She shook her head vehemently again, "I never let any of them touch me. But then I never trusted them," she bit her bottom lip. "I used them." When he shrugged, she added, "he liked my chest. Told me it was his favourite thing. So I hate them."