prologue

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I sat on my bed pulling my legs to my chest hugging myself wearing a long sleeved top and some wornout shorts i peep outside of the window right next to my side
I sigh i feel so lonely with you all i cant live like this anymore i feel like my sleeve is being pulled i look on the bed i see a toddler staring at me with those big eyes wanting answers of his unasked questions "where is mommy?"
"Why is she gone?"
"When will she come?" I sob silenty and lie next to him and hug him ... it so fresh

FLASHBACK...
"Yeah i will definately come oh how of course how can i forget it your birthday yeah yeah ok done what time? Fine take care" i slid my phone in my back pocket and walk through the roads its so damn cold
i wore my fav hoodie my elder sister Katherine gifted me when i graduated it says QUEEN with a tiara on top of it hmm its so cold brrr..
i walk while holding an angels hand in my hand well his my nephew we went to the grocery store a few blocks away to get him his favourite chocolate.. guess he's feeling cold to i cradle him in my arms and hug him close to chest so no cold breeze can bother him ..
he playfully twisting and playing with his chocolate bar .. i say " hey you cant eat it now you get to eat it after your food .. or me and you are grounded by your godzilla mom " i chuckle and he smiles we walk on the streets and i happen to notice some people gather near our gates
... whats going on ?

I guess mr.smith is not feeling well again mr.smith is a friendly old man who lives next to our house i really love him he seems to be not feeling so well for a couple of days ... i wish him good health ...
WAIT WHY IS EVERYONE GATHERING AROUND MY HOUSE ?? I ran as fast as i can holding jeremy in my arms ... OH MY GOD my house is on fire .... NOOO i tear the crowd my house on fire ... noo not even in my worst nightmare would i've imagined this my home covered in orange flames
i slowly put jeremy on the ground and catch my head between my hands i cant breathe god please tell me its not true please no no no mom dad i push everyone to save my family but the fire fighters stop me they are trying to put of the fire its growling flames shocked
i just wish i was there i wish i was their inside and they should be out i fall on the ground i hear the ambulance i hear cries of everyone some try to soothe me but it cant help ... for gods sake its my family inside burning to death wait what am i gonna do? Jeremy grabs my hoodie and is crying his heart out his terrified to see all this not he's aware whats going on he's only 16 months god ... please stop this fire i see people busy crying fire men busy in extinguishing the fire media people busy on interviews this is my only chance its now or never shake off jeremy's grip on my hoodie and ran into the house ....
all i see was thick black smoke i call "mom ? Dad? Katherine?" I hear a scream i think its from upstairs i ran quickly .... noooooo tears pricking down my eyes i see a body on fire screaming i take off my hoodie and try to put off the fire i see mom lying their coughing and dad half buring saying " run rebecca save ourself" "no dad we are all into this as a family im gonna save you all " i scream trying my best to put off the fire on my pregnant sisters body she grabs my hand says her last words !
"Take care of jeremy" and she collapsed "nooo katherine you cant leave us" i scream still crying i run to dad and mom "mom dad im here lets get you both out please get up" i shake them hard but they wont move a muscle i sank on the floor i think im gonna have a heart attack then i hear a voice " she's alive and on fire " before i can realise some men start to pull me out i struggle and fight with them
" noo let go of me they cant leave me stop" i was lead out .... we soon reached the hospital i never let go of jeremy as katherine's words linger in my head "take care of jeremy" i take out my phone and call harry my brother in law .. as harry answered " hello rebecca i know im late but dont eat up all the turkey " he chuckles
i scream " harry they are dead my house is on fire she's dead and so as the baby come to the hospital right now " before i could finish ...
i hear him " what no your lying this cant be happening im on my way" little did i know that was the last time i would hear from him " im on the road oohhh ...." CRASH ... "hello harry? What happened answer me" oh god my phone slips through my hands and i fall on my knees
"why us?" Was the only thing which came out of my mouth its all my fault if i havent left out with jeremy only and only if i didnt call harry and said him on the phone

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